You had a wonderful date, you are sure that the man liked you, and look forward to the next meeting. Only now a day, two or more passes, and there is no news from the guy. It's a shame, isn't it? The question of why it happened, what is the reason is even more interesting? It is especially difficult if this situation repeats for you and often the first dates become the last. Let's try to figure out why he disappears after the first date.

Feminine behavior that scares men off on a first date

Every man has his own stereotypes regarding relationships with women. As a rule, they are based on the experience, and if the lady's behavior echoes his negative experience, the man prefers not to meet with her anymore. Naturally, each representative of the stronger sex has its own "red flags". Psychologists identify the most common female types that scare men away.

Hubby. Of course, we are not talking about women who literally hate men, and why would such young ladies have a date. However, there are ladies who firmly believe that the stronger sex is generally worse than them. Even if such a girl tries to keep this opinion to herself, superiority will sometimes slip in conversation, facial expressions and gestures. Believe me, men are very sensitive to such signals, and few of them want to continue a relationship in this spirit.

Know-it-all. Many modern women impress with their intellect, can support any conversation and express their opinions competently. As a rule, men like girls who are not only beautiful, but also smart. The main thing is not to overdo it in demonstrating your knowledge. Some men are simply intimidated by the stubbornness of a woman who too emotionally defends her point of view on any issue. Most prefer diplomatic and tactful girls. In addition, one should take into account the fact that a certain category of representatives of the stronger sex simply needs to feel like a greater intellectual than a young lady.

The ready bride. Such a girl really wants to get married, and it is not so important for her for whom, the main thing is to get married status. Usually on the first date, the young lady, at the opportunity, informs the man that she is only serious relationship or just complaining that all guys need only one thing without any obligation. The girl's intense anxiety and tension looks completely unattractive, and besides, rarely does any man on the first date want to consider a lady as a bride.

Purse hunter. In this case, we are not talking about a real seeker of rich men, but about those girls who create such an impression with their behavior. It's natural for any woman to want courtship, courtesies, invitations, and gifts. Some unconsciously, but constantly provoke a man to spend, and as a result, they form the opinion that the girl does not need him, but his wallet.

What are girls doing wrong?

If after the first date the man disappeared, as a rule, the girl begins to analyze her behavior that evening - what did she do wrong or what words were superfluous? We suggest you figure out the most common mistakes that happen on a first date so that you never repeat them in the future.

In the first minutes of the meeting, it is of great importance appearance girls, her clothes, shoes. Naturally, a man may not pay attention to your fashionable shoes or branded handbag, but the overall impression will still be made. Shoes with heels will make the figure more slender, and the right dress will add femininity and grace.

Not very attractive on the first date, either a too shy girl or a very lively one looks. If the first one looks with apprehension in the menu, fearing to choose too expensive dish, then the second one can talk with aplomb about the lack of freshness of oysters. It is best to behave naturally, not try to impress, but also not fall into quiet panic at any awkward movement. Maintain a pleasant conversation for you, show the man that you know how to listen, have your opinion, but do not impose it on others.

Each life situation is unique, and it is not always possible to understand the cause of a particular incident. In any case, we learn from everything and, gaining experience, become wiser. Of course, if your first date with a man you like became your last, you won't be able to easily get rid of thoughts of him for a long time. Analyze, think about what you did wrong, but only in order not to repeat such mistakes again. Be sure that new meetings await you ahead of you, and one of them will definitely be the beginning of a wonderful relationship.

Well, are you happy? You've been waiting for this for so long. You talked virtually for two months, until he finally offered to meet. You are interested in each other. At least online. He is smart, reasonable, funny. It's easy with him. At least online. It seems to you that this is the very feeling. Finally, you got it. I waited. Grandma said correctly: patience is needed in everything, only patient people get everything. And you have patiently waited and waited.

So, sir, what to wear, you think, biting your lip in front of the closet. And they fly onto the sofa with endless bright butterflies - dresses, skirts, T-shirts, blouses and pants. You measure everything, but everything is not right: this dress, it turns out, makes you look older; and the skirt gives roundness to the already very rounded hips. You can root for your favorite team in this T-shirt, but you can't eat ice cream in a cafe with your dream guy. Everything is wrong, everything is wrong.

Finally, the topic with the outfit is closed. Now it remains to put on makeup and style your hair. But how? I wonder what he likes better: hair gathered in a bun or flowing over the shoulders? And with lipstick. What about lipstick? What if you kiss? And you will kiss! I don't want him to immediately get drunk on kilograms of your greasy lipstick. Well, okay, not greasy. But still not very pleasant to the taste. No, you won't paint your lips. But then they are too white and pale. Lord, what to do. It's so hard getting ready for the first date. Don't believe someone who says he doesn't even care. It is not true!

It happened - he was found. And then he disappeared ...

Finally, day H has come. You met. We sat in a cafe for a long time, ate ice cream, cakes and washed it down with tea. And then cocktails at the nearest bar. He is what you imagined him to be. You liked everything about him. You didn't kiss, but everything has its time. He walked you home and promised to call. That night you fell asleep with a smile on your lips, tightly pressing a pillow in your chest: it happened, he was found.

A day passed, two, three. He doesn't call. And a week later he did not call. At first you thought he just needed time. Then she began to feel sad and suspicious, but still did not lose hope. Now you're annoyed. You rush at others for no reason, like a young bull terrier. You are angry at yourself, at him, at the whole world, at the inadequate fate and men-assholes. He will not call, you already understood that. But I never found out the reason. It would be much easier for you if you knew the reason for his disappearance. You would work on the bugs. For the future, you would understand what you are doing wrong ...

Do you want to know? In fact, there are not so many reasons. And they are all pretty commonplace. It's just that men are so weak and cowardly that they cannot tell us this to our faces. Or maybe they just feel sorry for us. And they don't want to hurt. Therefore, they quietly disappear from life. Like, the time will come, she will understand everything herself, but I don’t want to break her heart with the truth, it’s better to just disappear, and then, you see, she will quickly forget me. In almost all cases, they think so. But only the trouble is: we do not forget. And we rush with this resentment all our life. Why did he disappear after the first date, what was wrong - we torment ourselves.

So why are men disappearing?

1. Unreasonable expectations

He imagines that a super model will come to meet him. He painted your image in his head. In this image, you are more like a mirage. But he has been living with it for some day, month, year. And then an ordinary girl a la neighbor came running to him on a date. That is, not at all what he imagined. It is clear that he is disappointed. It is clear that this is not your fault. And he, in fact, does not exist. Unless, it’s time for him to grow up and not hang in the clouds.

2. She turned out to be too chatty

All is well, she came. And it seems so nothing. When he is silent. And this is the most important remark. She just needs to be quiet. But in an hour of meeting, she told him everything about her parents, stupid boss, loser friends. About brother, sister, pets, favorite resorts and their hobbies. He sat and could hardly restrain himself so as not to knock her out with one blow.

Girls, sometimes it's better to chew than talk. Let's be discreet. I understand that it is often nervous. That you don't know what to do, how to show yourself, and you start talking all sorts of nonsense. Shut your mouth, honey. Otherwise, he will no longer appear in your life.

3. She turned out to be too intrusive

The date is not over yet, and she is already thinking where you will go next time. She described all your joint weekends, vacation at sea, and even came up with what you will call your children. He was about to hint that his laptop was broken, so she immediately dumped on him a hundred phones of her friends who could help him.

He cannot live without her, as she would show him. He can't breathe with her, he thinks. And he quietly begs to go outside. And there he runs wherever his eyes look.

4. She wanted to drag him to bed

He, of course, thought about it. He had a plan in his head. He had been running around with him for a day. I thought through everything to the smallest detail. What if she said so, he thought. And what if she is offended, scared. And what if they don't behave like that with girls, he was horrified. And then she comes, drinks a glass of daiquiri, winks and calls a taxi herself. It is clear that he was frightened. He hadn't expected this. For him, it's a pattern break. She broke his system. You can't do that with boys. For him, this date can result in trauma.

5. She cheated

She didn't send her photo. She said she loved this and hated that. She described herself as completely different, just to please him. And then the truth pours out. It is clear that he is discouraged. Don't hide your warts under Photoshop layers. Let's be honest. All the same, everything secret becomes clear. Let's immediately choose honesty in a relationship. Then there is hope that they (the relationship) will continue.

In fact, dating is a very delicate and fragile thing. He may simply not be in the mood. And he will leave your date wilted. And you have absolutely nothing to do with it. Or he can leave elated, with the thought that he has finally met the very one here. And in the evening his ex will call him, about whom he, why hide, still thinks at night. And she, the reptile, will invite him to meet. And he will agree. She, of course, will leave him in a week or two. And he will not work out with her. But what difference does it make to you. He didn't call. And in this whirlwind I completely forgot about you.

So you know what? If a guy doesn't call after the first date, just spit and smile. After all, this is not the last man on earth. It got easier right away, right?

Each of us at least once found ourselves in a situation where the first meeting turned out to be the last. You met, talked and understood: "No, not mine." However, there are times when a woman scares off a man with her behavior. And what could have been successful initially does not add up. Let's see what in your behavior can make a man run away.

1. Invalid photo

A very common reason for the fiasco in the case of internet dating. When a lady posts a 15-year-old photo of herself in her profile, or a photo edited with Photoshop. A man, going on a date, expects to see a slender girl of 25 years old, and in return he gets her, only 15 years older and 15 kg thicker. It's the same with photoshop. We all experiment with professional photo shoots, it is always interesting to feel like a glossy model at least for a moment. But even glossy models do not really look the same as on the covers. What can we say about ordinary women. Therefore, show the man yourself ordinary, real, if you want to transform a virtual novel into a real one. If you have complexes about your own appearance and age, then working with a psychologist will help you get rid of them. Otherwise, you only get rid of the man.

2. Invented image

This is also a topical reason for the collapse of the first date for those who want to translate virtual communication into real life. It's almost like in the case of the photo, only the woman begins to create a life for herself, which she really does not live. She posts photos of wonderful yachts on which she has not skated, talks about travels in which she has never been, brags about gifts that she has never been given. In the Network, you can still “blur” someone’s not too attentive eye, but in reality, when the “Goddess” comes on a date on the metro in a synthetic winter coat, and from the lady’s behavior in the restaurant it becomes clear that she has never been in them at all, a date can only work out if the other half is represented by the same dreamer. A normal man quickly realizes that he is being deceived. Nobody wants to be deceived. The man leaves.

3. Mercantile spirit

If at the first meeting all the girl's conversations revolve only around the material - what gifts other men gave her, what trips they took, how hard it is for her to live, how expensive it is to rent an apartment - the man begins to feel like a wallet. Of course, in our material world, each other's financial situation is important to all of us. Just as women do not want to be with impoverished losers, so men do not want to be with problem women who have only a dubious past in their dowry. But no one wants to be overtly used. Yes, it is difficult for girls to live, especially those who came to a big city from the provinces, and yes, men give gifts, sometimes very expensive. For example, Richard Burton gave Elizabeth Taylor a 69-carat diamond, for which he paid $ 1,100,000. But to receive such a gift, you must first become Elizabeth Taylor. And on the first date, at least bite your tongue and give out only part of your demands. And preferably in a voice corrected from the local talk. To get to the second.

4. Obsession with marriage

"It's time for me to get married" - this is the same as in the case of commercialism, only the obsession is aimed at marriage, and not at money. On the first date, the girl begins to tell how much she wants to get married, how much all her relatives want it, how they have already prepared both the dowry and the wedding, only the groom is missing. That she is set up only for a serious relationship and for no more than 2 months, and after them a wedding. He starts asking the man how many children he wants, and fantasizes about how they will name them and what school they will send. In principle, at the first meeting, you should indicate both your intentions and attitude towards children in order to avoid unpleasant situations in the future when one of the partners is a follower of the current childfree,but there is a big difference between "clarify the position" and "see a person as a means of making a dream come true." A man doesn't want to be the vehicle for your dreams. He has his own.

5. Cheeky behavior

When, at the very first meeting, the girl gets drunk in the trash and begins to pull the remnants of his already meager suit from the stripper. If you always behave like this, then you know everything about yourself for a long time and you are not surprised at your maximum "sex for one night". But often we just get really excited at the first meeting. I want to please, to seem better, more relaxed, more free, not embarrassed. You might mistakenly think that alcohol will be a treasured relaxation aid. Or think that men like free girls without complexes. However, free does not mean unbridled and misbehaving. Freedom is to accept yourself, including in the embarrassment of the first meeting. Therefore, leave the micro-swimming trunks to the stripper, you will steal them at the hen party. You can also get drunk there. And on the first date with a man you like, be yourself - be embarrassed, answer inappropriately, go through awkward pauses. A man is also shy and worried about the impression he made on you. Give both of you a chance.

Where do men disappear after a first date?

Have you ever been in a situation where the first date was also the last? Has it ever happened that already during the very meeting you had the feeling that this was probably not entirely mine? Or did it happen that initially everything seemed to work out favorably, and then for some reason it went wrong and did not work out? What was wrong and prompted the man to run away?

You can't recognize you ...

Often in your profile in social networks girls post fake photos or photos processed with Photoshop. Having met a man on the Internet (I already wrote about this option in the Acquaintance section), they agree on real meeting... And here the discrepancy is immediately revealed. Your joke with an improved photo in the eyes of a man looks like a desire to deceive him and can be very disappointing.

Sometimes images of stars are posted on the Internet, as they really look in life. And often these pictures only vaguely resemble the corresponding glossy photos. Therefore, if you are meeting a man on the Internet and are planning meetings in the future, it is better to show him your real self. The same is true for a fictional life. Some girls on the net create some kind of fictional life for themselves, which they don't really live. They talk about some kind of overseas travels on wonderful yachts or meeting famous people. And when at the meeting it becomes clear that these are all just her fantasies, the date can only continue if the man is the same dreamer. A normal man does not want to be deceived and just leaves.

And give me a star ...

You first met a man. And wanting to improve your status, you began to delightfully tell what gifts other men gave you and what trips you took. Of course, we are all not indifferent to the financial situation of the future chosen one. But if at the first meeting a woman's conversations revolve mainly around the material, the man will feel like a wallet and this is unlikely to inspire him to new meetings. Because nobody wants to be just overtly used. On the first date, it is better not to voice your material requirements and claims. So that the second date still took place.

"Already unbearable to marry ..."

There are women who are simply fixated on marriage. On the first date, they say that they are only in a serious relationship. And that the wedding is better planned no earlier than two months. Although the relatives have the dowry ready and only the groom is missing ...

In principle, at the first meeting, it is possible and worthwhile to indicate some of your intentions, in order to avoid surprises in the future. But the concept of "clarify the position" does not mean at all that you can use a person as a means to make a dream come true. A man does not want to be a means of making someone's dream come true. He has his own. Above all, the instinct of maintaining your male independence can also work, and this can scare a man. Therefore, it is better to keep your desire to get married urgently for the time being.

Remember all…

Imagine that there are nuances that absolutely did not get your attention, but could change the course of your meeting. Take a pen and a piece of paper. Tune in your thoughts to your meeting, at the end of which the guy "disappeared". You can also consider similar circumstances that have happened to you more than once before. Replay in mind and answer on paper some of the questions about your meetings.

How did everything happen, what did they talk about? Did your communication arouse his interest and affection? How were you dressed? Think about what a man might be attracted to in a woman. Did your image match the place of your meeting? Have you managed to highlight your merits? What mood were you in on your first date? Have you been a friendly person to talk to? How often have you been negative in your conversation and mood?

What about a man? Was he friendly and sociable throughout the meeting? Don't try to make it better than it is. And do not defend him that you provoked him, so that his hand, as it were, began to settle on your knee.

How did your meeting end? Have you managed to come to the "golden mean" between indifference and delight? Did your meeting end with a sense of celebration? Analyze your date, note what mistakes you made. Could a man feel a threat to his freedom? In this situation, a man always tries to run away to hell…. If you have, try never to do them in the future! In this case, successful dates and wonderful relationships with your chosen one await you!

The men shared with us real dating stories, after which they would never call the girl back. Now we know exactly what not to do.

BECAUSE YOU ARE DRINKED

“One young lady cried all the time and said that everyone considered her friend cooler than she was. She got drunk gradually and cried. He left her at her entrance, promising to support and fix everything, well, and wove something about the fact that her friend is a complete fool. I was driving home in a drunken state of mind. " Anton

Because drunk people look and behave disgustingly, and you yourself know that very well. You yourself probably won't call the man who gets drunk on the first date.

How to prevent this: remember that alcohol is incredibly insidious. It is clear that you are drinking because you are nervous and just want to relax. But the problem is, alcohol doesn't actually change your condition, it makes your current condition worse. That is, if you are only nervous about a date, everything is fine: this state would go away on its own, drinking will simply speed up your return to your usual calmness. But if you are really very tense or something happened to you, you will not help yourself with alcohol, but only harm. So choose one thing: either cancel the date or spend it in a coffee shop that doesn't serve alcohol.

BECAUSE YOU CHEATED HIM

“A lady came with a bunch of large hanging moles on her face, they were not in the photo (thank photoshop). In addition, in the photo she was clearly five years younger and 15 kilos lighter. Throughout the meeting, she nagged about the ex, talked about her love for children and the desire to get married, then asked to take her to the devil knows where. I didn't call again. She invited herself a couple of times, I took them to the movies by inertia, then stopped answering calls. Michael

“A girl with a cat instead of a photo on an avatar. A bun, weighing 80 kilograms and 140 in height in a jump, dressed in folk style, came to the date. She dragged me to a romantic walk on the Fontanka, looked into my mouth on the way and admired me lisp. Goodbye, she grabbed and tried to kiss, but, fortunately, did not jump. It was after her that I merged in horror with Mamba. " Andrei

Why is he most likely to run away: nobody likes to be deceived. If a bouncy pensioner came on a date instead of an imposing forty-year-old handsome man, a stooped soup set instead of a taut, lean man, or a pimply baby instead of a perky adult student, how would you react? That's right, you would run away.

How to prevent this:it is important to understand that everyone has complexes. It is even more important to understand that there will certainly be a person who will like you the way you are. It may not be found as quickly as you would like, but this also has its advantages: if you show yourself real instead of an artificial beauty, which everyone will definitely like, you will save yourself time and nerves. Because everyone really pecks at glossy beauty. Including those who are initially looking for a young lady for one night.

BECAUSE YOUR APPEARANCE DOES NOT MATCH YOUR WORDS

“One lady in her correspondence constantly talked about her travels in Europe, about attending fashion shows and about what a headless housekeeper she had. I came on a date with a fake Louis Vuitton from the transition. Who did she want to deceive, I wonder? " Maxim

Why is he most likely to run away: firstly, he may decide that you are a dummy, which makes up for it with silly fairy tales. And secondly, if you lie from the very beginning, then you will continue to lie.

How to prevent this: even if you really want to embellish reality, you should not do it. Just because it doesn't make any sense at all. You harm yourself just like that, for nothing. He is hardly interested in how much money you have - unless, of course, he is a gigolo or a poor widower with five preschool children.

BECAUSE YOUR APPEARANCE IS NOT SUITABLE FOR THE SITUATION

“I once invited a woman to an expensive restaurant. We talked for a long time on the Web, I naturally fell in love, I wanted to amaze her. She came without makeup, in worn out old sneakers and with a huge shabby bag. All evening I thought everyone was staring at us. Then he ordered a brandy and began to stare at the beauties in full dress himself. Naturally, we never met again. " Artem

Why is he most likely to run away: first, he will decide that you do not appreciate his efforts. Secondly, that you do not share his interests (for example, you came in heels and in a thin jacket, although he invited you for a walk in the winter forest). Thirdly, he will think that you are not at all familiar with the concept of "looking appropriate", and he will have to be ashamed of you all the time.

How to prevent this: feel free to ask again if you are not sure you got it right. You yourself will be embarrassed, agree. And if you think that this is nonsense or, even worse, an attempt on your individuality and freedom, then it is better to find out bye. And offer him an alternative.

---