Young mothers, observing manifestations of aggression in their babies, often do not know how to react to it. In most cases, everything ends in a prolonged tantrum of the child after a “deserved” punishment. We have collected information that will help parents of brawling children aged 3-5 years identify the causes of aggression and correctly respond to its manifestation in children.

Why children fight: causes of aggression in children 3-5 years old

It is generally accepted that aggressive behavior is a child’s reaction to external stimuli. In most cases it is difficult to disagree with this. In those moments when a child is just learning to interact with the world and people around him, aggression serves as a certain defense mechanism. Therefore, its manifestations are natural, but should fade away within a short period of time. If attacks of uncontrollable rage become more frequent and last for an unreasonably long time, then experts diagnose a pathology in social development child.

Causes of aggression in children 3-5 years old:

A unique exploration of the world. It is with the help of hitting or pushing peers that the child learns the reaction of parents, just adults nearby and the “test subjects” themselves to such behavior. It defines the boundaries of what is permitted and these manifestations should not be called aggression. Usually, during such experiments, the child’s mood does not change, that is, he remains calm.
Manifestation of aggression and anger. Often, aggression in a child appears when what the toddler wants is not achievable. Find out the child’s need at the moment and explain why it cannot be satisfied or, conversely, satisfy it if possible. Offer a replacement; such an exchange can calm the child and show that his opinion is important to the parents. Children easily agree to compromises proposed by adults who are authoritative for them. Do not try to respond to displayed aggressiveness with your own irritation, as this will develop into a discussion of “who is in charge,” and the suppressed emotion will serve the child poorly in later life.
At the age of 3-5 years, when expressing his opinion, the child is very egocentric. That is, he still cannot agree with his peer, and generally needs clear guidance from his elders. Planning the situation and seeing the future are not worked out, the line between fantasy and reality is erased. A child, seeing on TV how an adult defends his territory, believes that he should do the same. Aggression in this case is just a sneaky skill. Next, we will tell you what methods of explanatory work will be effective in this case.
Misbehavior of parents and adults that are near the child. A child can be negatively affected by inappropriate behavior of parents at home, in front of the baby, dislike expressed by parents too clearly, grievances arising through the fault of parents or circumstances, insults from elders or threats.

A small child fights: what should parents do?

To help a child overcome aggression, parents will have to learn to be patient and talk correctly with their child, listen to him until the end and use simple methods of distracting attention. The practical tips presented below were developed by specialists in working with aggressive children. All of them have passed the test of time and are recognized as the most effective for solving such issues.

To prevent aggressive behavior in a child 3-5 years old, experts advise:

Teach your child to express irritation , choosing an acceptable form for this (we work with manifestations of aggression).
Show your baby how recognize your own anger and control yourself.
In a playful way develop empathy and compassion for other people.

These general recommendations are implemented in a variety of ways. Conversations and games, modeling similar situations using favorite toys or fairy tale characters, sports games and switching attention - each of these methods is effective in combating aggression in a child.

Examples of effective methods for eliminating aggression in children:

When a child feels irritated, angry, offended, invite him to draw what he feels. But at the same time, be sure to ask him to tell you what he is doing and feeling at the same time. Most likely, the story will be about the real reasons for the child’s aggression. Focus your child’s attention on feelings so that you can later help him identify and control them on his own. By diverting his attention, you will prevent scandal and hysteria from breaking out.
Sew a pillow and declare it an “anger bag.” Ask your baby to hit her as soon as he gets irritated, that is, put the bad stuff in a bag. This will protect him from injury during a hysteria and will prevent him from hitting or throwing dishes or things.
Explain that in the long run pugnacity is not beneficial to him personally . If he beat a peer, he will no longer play with him. If adults are hit, they will not want to communicate with the one who hurts them. As a result, it will be much more boring alone than in the company. You can go up to the child who is being hurt by your baby, hug and kiss him. This way the attention is not on the fighter, and he will quickly realize that he can be left alone.
Be sure to convey to your child the rules of behavior in the house and on the street. For example, “when we don’t fight, they don’t fight with us either,” “if we don’t offend, then they won’t offend us,” “toys can be taken when they are free.” Children strive for order and instructions because it is difficult for them themselves. So use persuasion with words and rules.
Praise your child if he listened to your instructions , but do not use the word “good” (according to the observations of psychologists, children do not respond to it). Focus on how much pleasure he gave you with his restraint.
Come up with fairy tales together where he is the main character . This will help you better understand the feelings, like when drawing and sculpting. Applying effective methods, you will help your child understand how to behave and how not to behave.
Participate in competitions and organize sports games more often, physical fatigue leaves no room for mental irritation.
Leave paper or old newspapers within reach for your child to tear. Explain in advance that this way you will know about his anger, and he won’t break anything. Stomping of feet or strong inhalations and exhalations during an attack of aggression, as well as boxing with sofa cushions and rubber toy hammers, are considered similar in strength.
Recognizing anger can be taught with the help of posters or drawings that the child himself will draw. Ask to depict different emotions and do not remove the drawing. Agree that the baby can show you on the poster what he feels. This will help prevent outbursts of aggression.
The baby will be taught to sympathize and empathize through performances that he will conduct together with his parents. Any toys and objects will do, since children's imagination is much more developed than adults. Ask him to invent and talk about fictional characters. Discuss with your children who is right and wrong in the situations they have invented. During the game, information is perceived better than during a lecture about incorrect behavior.

Sometimes allow your child to make noise, run, jump and scream. It’s better to let your baby burn out his energy under your supervision than in a fight with other children.

It is necessary to show the child to a psychologist if fights and manifestations of aggression continue regularly for six months.

How to stop a child from fighting: opinions of psychologists

Anna Berdnikova, psychologist:

Before you react in any way to your child's aggressive behavior, listen to your feelings: what are you experiencing? This is important because the feeling you experience will determine what is really happening and how to react to what is happening.
During the next outbreak of your child’s aggressive behavior, listen to your feelings. What do you feel? Bitterness and resentment? Or anger and desire to defeat this little villain, to show him who is in charge here? If the latter, then you are firmly trapped in a power struggle.
What to do in this situation? The very first step is to try to avoid fighting as much as possible. Because by continuing to fight, you start the situation in a circle.
If you feel offended, then you need to ask yourself: what made the child inflict it on you? What kind of pain does he have? How have you offended or are you constantly offending him? Having understood the reason, we must, of course, try to eliminate it.

Child psychologist T. Malyutina:

If (a child) bites or hits you, an adult, stop it. Don't be patient! Show that you are hurt, scream, cry. And then explain. If a 2-3 year old child hits a child in the sandbox, take him by the hand, apologize to the victim’s mother, and take the child away. But don’t forget to praise when the child plays calmly and shares toys. Show that feelings can be expressed in words. Until the baby himself learns to explain what is happening to him, do it for him. “I don’t like that you hit me, it hurts me, but I understand that you are angry because I forbade you...” When the child grows up, just ask: “You don’t need to hit me, better tell me what you don’t like?” Until the age of 4, until the child is aware of his feelings, speak for him, and then he himself will be able to express dissatisfaction with words, not fists.

Psychologist Olga Tseytlin about fights between children in the same family:

Often parents protect one of the children, usually the weakest or youngest, and ask the children to do as he wants. In older people, this causes resentment and a desire to take revenge on the younger one. They can do this without adults noticing. If parents protect the youngest, he feels like a winner, and he continues to pester his brother or sister. Parents do not understand that with such actions they only fuel rivalry between children. Parents often do not notice the provocations of a “good” child who provokes his brother or sister by kicking him under the table or whispering insulting words.

E. Komarovsky regarding the aggression of children towards their parents:

Again, my attitude to how to correct this behavior does not correspond to what psychologists recommend. My opinion: if a child shows aggression towards adults, then this is the realization of certain instincts, but he also has another instinct: the child gives in if he sees that the one against whom he uses physical force is stronger. Therefore, whenever a child raises his hand (or foot) towards his mother, he must allow himself to respond with controlled aggression. Not a single aggressive physical action of a child towards adults should go unpunished. Adults have a huge number of ways to control the behavior of children, because the whole life of a child depends on an adult. It is you who give your daughter sweets and treats, buy toys, perhaps turn on cartoons - and in all this you can limit the child if he does not behave the way you want. In any case, the topic raised is not pediatric, but definitely psychological. What I mean is that everything you’ve read now is not expert advice, but the opinion of your doctor friend, who is not an expert in child psychology.

Children's aggression is a completely natural and natural phenomenon. American psychologist Parens believes that a fundamentally non-hostile form of behavior is detected already from the second month of a child’s life. The child behaves aggressively in order to assert himself or improve his experience. This type of aggression is an important motivation for self-affirmation and encourages the necessary competition in the world, which is not initially destructive.

A one-year-old baby may angrily hit a spoonful of porridge that he does not want to eat. And a one and a half year old - slap his mother in the face if she insists on a walk, and the baby is enthusiastically fiddling with a typewriter on the carpet. And in this case, you need to be able to initially react correctly to the first outbursts of aggression, anger and violence on the part of the child. If attempts at destructive aggression are not stopped in time, then in almost 100% of cases parents create additional problems for both themselves and the child.

It often seems to parents that teaching a three-year-old toddler to restrain his emotions is pointless. This is a more than strange position, since the foundations of behavior in society should be laid initially, and not descended from the sky on the eve of school. It’s not for nothing that they said in Rus' that “you need to learn while you’re lying across the bench, but when you stretch out along it, it’s too late.”

Aggressive children, as a rule, turn out to be outcasts in kindergarten, and then in elementary school. In search of communication, they either begin to force friendships (and such relationships are initially fragile, since they are based on fear) or team up with children with a similar temperament and emotional world, which leads to antisocial behavior. After all, in order to have authority in such a company, you need to constantly prove that you are stronger and more reckless than others.

It’s not clear why many mothers are touched when two year old baby in an attempt to assert himself, he hits his mother on the arms and legs with his fists. They believe that with age this behavior will neutralize itself. But nothing ever happens by itself. Having learned in childhood the experience that one can beat one’s mother, the child transfers this model to girls in his class, to a friend, and later to his wife and children.

The causes of childhood aggressiveness can be divided into several groups:

- the reason is the model of destructive behavior of parents.
- the cause is a stressful situation
- the reason is the parents’ incorrect reaction to manifestations of destructive aggression or the parents’ incorrect attitude towards the child.
- the cause is psychopathological and neurological abnormalities in the formation of the brain and psyche.
So, if you decide to deal with a child’s aggression, pay attention, first of all, to your own behavior and the behavior of those in your household. After all, the first reason for aggression in children lies in the nature of socialization, when a child copies the behavior of adults. Aggression in this case is not a property of the child’s psyche, but a model of behavior adopted from adults. How do you personally deal with your own aggression? How does your child know when you are angry or upset? If he often watches his mother express her attitude towards something by slamming the door or throwing slippers at the wall, then he will consider the aggressive model of behavior to be the norm. If dad beats mom, and mom takes it for granted to spank the child for any offense, then you need to first learn to cope with your own aggression and normalize the situation in the family.

Let your child understand that everyone has the right to have bad emotions, but to express anger you should not rush at a person with your fists. Teach your child to express his dissatisfaction with words. When your child is close to getting angry, tell him: I can see that you are upset and angry right now. Let's figure out what you feel and why. As a rule, negativity, expressed in the form of words, relieves tension. If you repeat this exercise often, then gradually the verbal expression of negative emotions will become the norm for the child.

Parents often say: he doesn’t understand the words, but if you pour it in properly, he becomes like silk. It is strange that in the 21st century we have to explain to educated adults that physical punishment is inherently evil. Let's admit that a child is spanked not for educational purposes, but because an intelligent adult could not cope with the outburst of emotions. Are there not enough ways to solve problems nonviolently? The method of competition, switching attention, the method of natural consequences, depriving him of some privileges (walking, watching a cartoon), the time-out or “punishment chair” method, the method of traditional communication and explanation, in the end. If you most often spank a child in response to disobedience, then by doing this you sign that you could not find the words to explain to the child how to act correctly.

The history of forensic psychiatry shows that among murderers and maniacs who were particularly cruel, 97% grew up in families where physical punishment was the norm. That is why these people subconsciously believed that the physical form of influencing undesirable people (including murder) was normal.

It should not be exaggerated that from the slightest physical punishment the child’s psyche will be disturbed, this is not so. There is nothing special if once every two months you couldn’t restrain yourself and lightly spanked your child’s bottom. It's scary when beating becomes the norm in education. This establishes that the strong have the right to beat the weak.

Learn to express your emotions yourself without kicking and slapping. Learn to say out loud yourself: “I’m unhappy with your behavior, you’ve made me very angry with your disobedience, I’m just beside myself with anger. Therefore, most likely, I will not want to read you a fairy tale in the evening.” By the way, it was noted that for aggressive people It is very difficult to express your attitude in words, especially when talking with children.

But often parents do not see that they are showing their children a model of aggressive behavior. Like, we don’t hit the child, we don’t hit each other. Why is our behavior considered aggressive? The concept of aggression is much broader than it initially appears. For example, a two-year-old child is running down the street with a stick - he is chasing pigeons, and his grandmother looks at it favorably. Why? Because it still won’t catch up? What if next time the child runs at grandma like that?

If at the stage of early development, up to 2-2.5 years, the aggressive behavior of children is not stopped and attention is not switched to other ways of demonstrating their uniqueness, then the aggressive model moves into the realm of a conscious reaction. This is the third reason for children's aggressiveness.

Parents can “trigger” the mechanism of a child’s aggressiveness by constantly belittling him. If a child is subjected to systematic humiliation in the family, then in an effort to overcome the feeling of his own inferiority, sooner or later he will try by any means to prove to adults that he is worthy of something else. Through aggression will flow the desire to demonstrate that his position in the sociohierarchy system is higher, that he is worthy of a different attitude, a greater degree of trust or independence. Aggression of this kind is like a volcanic eruption: it bubbles quietly in the depths of a child’s soul, and then from some small push it breaks out like an avalanche. Such aggression is typical of children who for a long time lived in an authoritarian society where their opinions were not taken into account.

It happens that there are no aggressive relatives in the child’s family, but the child becomes a real despot. The most common reason for such “incomprehensible” aggression is a “stormy” atmosphere in the house. For example, when parents are in a quarrel and practically do not communicate. Or when a mother-in-law comes to visit, who has a strained relationship with the child’s mother. Although there is no obvious manifestation of negative emotions in the family, children, like radars, sense the tension between relatives and defuse it with their own destructive behavior.

Stressful situations often provoke aggression in children. For example, the cause of aggression can be a sharp difference in educational measures. So after Sunday visits to her grandparents, three-year-old Alice always became capricious and irritable. The reason for this was, oddly enough, the great love of my grandparents. The parents raised their daughter more strictly, and her grandparents allowed the girl to do things that were strictly forbidden at home: she watched cartoons for hours, ate a lot of chocolate, went to bed when she wanted, received endless gifts, etc. At home, the girl began the week by adjusting to her comfortable life with her grandmother. And discontent was expressed in the form of outbreaks of aggression.

In a large number of children, outbursts of aggression coincide with the start of visits kindergarten or schools. The mother of first-grader Denis complains:

He was always a nice home boy with us, he didn’t make trouble, there were no problems. We didn’t go to kindergarten; we didn’t need these infections and equalization. But when we went to school, what a substitute! The teacher complains: she makes trouble, constantly contradicts, doesn’t listen, and fights during breaks. And recently, over some trifle, he severely beat a classmate who was a head shorter than him!

In a home environment, a child is a king and God; they can make concessions to him and feel sorry for him. At school, the child ceases to be the center of a small world. And this hurts, especially if you fail to succeed in knowledge. If you cannot achieve respect through mental achievements, then there is only one way to assert yourself: using your fists to force yourself to be taken into account.

Here aggression is used as a self-defense mechanism when the child sees a real threat against him. Note that this reaction is typical for insecure children with somewhat low self-esteem, since for them aggression replaces courage. As a rule, children who did not receive enough maternal affection in early childhood or do not feel real help from adults behind them express themselves through an increased form of aggression.

Psychologists strongly recommend that even if it is possible not to send your child to kindergarten, be sure to send him there at least six months before school. Socialization experience must be acquired before school, and visiting a sports section or two-hour classes in a development club is not enough. We need full-fledged games among peers under the supervision of adults, then the child has the opportunity to gain experience in sorting out relationships in various combinations.

Often a child becomes an aggressor if something incomprehensible to him happens in the family, which the child cannot influence or simply does not know how to react. For example, a second child is born. Usually, a 2-year-old already understands perfectly well that the reason for changes in the family is the appearance of a newborn. Unfortunately, I had to deal with cases of unprecedented aggression towards a baby on the part of an older child: older children hit the baby on the head with toys, threw him onto the floor from the sofa, tried to hit him with a ski pole... Alas, there was also a terrifying case when a six-year-old girl threw out her newborn brother from the window. It is very difficult to fight this kind of aggression; it must be extinguished even before it manifests itself.

You will not have strong problems with jealousy if you tell your eldest in advance how good it is when there are many children in the family. It’s good if you show your child pictures of babies, go shopping for some things together, involve your child in choosing a name for the baby doll or installing a crib. If new baby falls on the older child out of the blue, then the older child inevitably begins to fight for the mother’s attention.

Often, only a specialist can find out whether the cause of aggression is a stressful situation. And, of course, only a specialist will help if the child has specific mental disorders.

Recognize that your child is a full member of the family. And his opinion must be taken into account in any large-scale changes.

What should a mother do at the initial moment of fighting child aggression, how to react to outbursts of rage?

If a child raises his hand to you, intercept it and say sternly, looking straight into his eyes: “I really don’t like being hit, so I don’t allow anyone to do this to me and I won’t allow you either.” It’s not a fact that the child will understand this the first time, especially if he was previously allowed to beat everyone. But after 10 times, awareness will begin to occur.

If a child throws a toy in anger, pick it up, return it to the child and sternly tell him that toys don’t like being treated that way and that it might break. If the child throws the toy a second time, remove it for a day or two. Say that the toy was offended by him and asked him to take it away from the boy who was hurting her. If the child is two or three years old, ask him to stroke the toy right away, otherwise he will no longer play with his owner. Alternatively: oh-oh, the doll hurts, Katya threw it on the floor! Now the doll needs to be treated, she has a big bruise on her arm. Come on, Katya, bring cotton wool, bandages and cream - we will treat our doll. Wrap her in a sheet, rock her...

This technique switches the child from a destructive model of behavior to a positive one - to feel sorry, to show compassion.

If a child swings at his little sister, stop his hand, then strictly tell the children that since they do not know how to play with each other, they will play separately. Separate the children different rooms. If the dispute was over a toy, remove it. Don't start finding out who started it first, as this leads to the emergence of snitching.

Punish with severity of tone and confiscation of the toys of both offenders - because they both could not find a compromise. In the same way, it is necessary to defuse a situation when the youngest child is to blame. Often younger children, seeing that the older child is generally considered to be to blame for all conflicts, deliberately provoke the older child into scandals and mischief. That is why do not tell an older child “you are older, you must understand” or “you are older, be sure to give in to the baby.”

If your child is constantly rude to his grandmother, limit their communication for a while. Calmly explain to the child that since he upset his grandmother, behaved rudely, called him names, etc., he will no longer be able to communicate with his grandmother. It’s a pity, because only the grandmother buys Kinder surprises for her grandson, and the grandmother was also going to take her beloved baby to the park to ride the rides... Well, since you don’t know how to be friends with your grandmother, then the grandmother will sit at home, and you will sit at home myself.

Constantly show your child a non-aggressive model of behavior, teach compassion. Imagine that a child wants to pet a street kitten. The wrong, aggressive model of behavior in this situation is to shout “don’t touch, he’s contagious,” push the kitten away, and forcefully drag the child away by the hand. Correct model behavior is that you need to feel sorry for the kitten: “look how unhappy he is, how bad he feels. Come on, let's go home and bring him a piece of sausage! But we won’t touch the kitten or take it away from here. Imagine, someone else’s aunt starts touching you and taking you somewhere! You'll be scared. So the kitten will get scared if we touch it. Besides, his mother cat might not like it! We don’t want to upset the mother cat!”

Teach your child to express his emotions in words: “I’m unhappy,” “I’m sad,” “I’m angry,” “I feel unpleasant,” etc. If the child is still small, voice it out for him: “I understand you, Sasha, this car is very beautiful, and you really want this car. But I can’t buy it for you because I forgot the money at home (show the empty wallet). I see that you are sad that I will not buy this car, you are even angry with me. I’m also sorry that we won’t be able to buy this car, but I suggest you go for a ride on the swing.”

In this case, however, you will have to not buy anything for anyone until the end of the walk, so that it doesn’t turn out that you deceived the child.

Aggression is human nature. The ethylological approach (K. Lorenz) states that aggression is an integral part of the human essence, its nature lies in the innate instinct of the struggle for survival. However, this does not mean that a person cannot learn to manage his aggressiveness. And the closest people should teach this in childhood.

What could be the causes of childhood aggression? What to do if a child behaves aggressively?

“He got into a fight!” - the kindergarten teacher exclaims in a dramatic voice. Under barely restrained maternal annoyance, the little man returns home. There on family council his fate will be decided: the fate of a man who has committed an unforgivable aggressive act.

Modern society dictates its own rules of the game to us. And what 100 years ago a father would have praised for, today causes parents to panic. What is childhood aggression? Is it worth fighting it? And if so, then how.

Types of aggression in children

According to the most common interpretation, childhood aggression is behavior directed at others or at oneself and associated with causing harm. Depending on how this behavior manifests itself, the following types of aggression are distinguished:

Verbal- the child screams, swears, calls names, verbally abuses. Depending on whether the baby reprimands the person who angered him or complains to a third party who had nothing to do with the conflict, aggression is divided into direct and indirect, respectively.
Physical- here there is causing material harm to the object of anger.

Such aggression can be:

straight- children fight, bite, hit, scratch. The purpose of this behavior is to hurt another person;
indirect- the move involves causing harm to the offender’s belongings. A child may tear a book, break a toy, or destroy someone else's sandcastle.
symbolic- constitutes threats to use force. Often this type of aggression develops into direct aggression. For example, a child screams that he will bite you and, if intimidation does not work, he puts it into practice.

No matter how a child’s aggressive behavior manifests itself, it always causes stupor and bewilderment in parents. Where did this come from? What to do about it? Ordinary conversations about how fighting and swearing are bad do not help.

Causes of outbursts of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents

Family members are especially sensitive to aggression directed at them. Why a child is aggressive with other children can be understood, but at home the child is treated well. So what causes outbreaks of aggression and aggressive behavior in children and adolescents?

The most common group of reasons can be classified as “Problems in the family.” Moreover, these can be both difficulties in the relationship between parents and the child, as well as problems of adults who are not directly related to the baby: divorce, death of a close relative
Children, just like adults, have their own individual characteristics. Therefore, the second group of reasons can be attributed to “ Personal characteristics" The child may be easily excitable, anxious, and irritable. He finds it difficult to control his emotions, so any little thing can make him angry
And the last group can be described as “Situational reasons”. Fatigue, poor health, heat, long monotonous pastime, poor quality food. Such things can infuriate not only a child, but also an adult.

Diagnosis of aggression in children

All these factors can intersect and overlap each other. A qualified psychologist will help to identify what caused the child’s aggressive behavior in a particular case. Diagnosis of aggression in children is carried out over several meetings, based on the results of which the specialist analyzes the problem and suggests ways to solve it.

The choice of methods for correcting aggression depends on many factors. But parents need to be prepared for the fact that there is no simple way to treat aggression. To help a child you will have to work hard, including on yourself.

What should you pay attention to first of all, what recommendations should parents of aggressive children follow? Here a lot depends both on the reasons for such behavior of the child and on his age

Aggression in children aged 2-3 years

During this period there is a crisis of 3 years. Kids are selfish and are not used to sharing. If they disagree with something, they may hit, scream or break something that does not belong to them.

It should be remembered that children do not yet know how to control their emotions, so this behavior is more the norm than a deviation. Do not scold the child, it is better to try to distract him from the object of his bad mood with something.

Being too strict can make the problem worse. Take the child aside, gently tell him that this is not the way to behave and suggest a new activity.

Aggressive preschool children

Most often, aggression in children for various reasons occurs in preschool age. At this time, the little man still does not know how to express his emotions and feelings and tries to express them precisely as aggression.

Aggression in children aged 4-5 years

At this age, the child begins to settle into society. He checks and examines how his behavior affects other people, including his parents.

If his actions do not harm others, give him the opportunity to build boundaries for himself. It should be understood that this does not mean permissiveness. You need to make it clear to your child what is possible and what is not. How he can express his anger (words) and how not (physically).

Aggression in children 6-7 years old

Children of older preschool age are not too often aggressive. They have already learned to control themselves, they understand what is good and what is bad. If a child behaves aggressively and cruelly, you should think about the reasons.

Perhaps he lacks independence or finds it difficult to communicate with peers. Now interaction with other children comes first for the baby.

Aggression in schoolchildren

Schoolchildren also do not yet have a fully formed psyche and most often express their feelings towards peers and teachers as aggressive self-defense.

Aggression in children aged 8-9 years

The child is actively growing, expanding his knowledge about the world and himself. Both boys and girls begin to pay attention to the opposite sex. The authority of the adult is questioned.

It is important for parents to understand that the child is no longer a baby. From now on, children demand to be treated as equals. Aggression among schoolchildren is often associated with adults’ rejection of this fact.

Aggression in children aged 10-12 years

Early adolescence prepares parents for the crisis and complexity of adolescence. Already now, the authority of peers is more important for a child than that of the parents. Aggressive outbreaks cannot be avoided now.

It is important not to respond to aggression with aggression and not to enter the slippery slope of confrontation. It is better to try to build a partnership with your child. Spend more time with him, talk about adult topics. Of course, there must be boundaries and limits. After all, you are a parent, not your child’s friend.

In any of these periods, one should understand when aggression is only temporary, situational, and when it threatens to turn into an accentuation of character. If the problem of child aggression in your family is quite acute and you feel that you cannot cope with the situation, do not be afraid to ask for help. Raising aggressive children is not an easy task. And the work of a psychologist will not be superfluous here.

How to relieve aggression in a child? Treatment of aggression in children

There are various techniques to relieve aggression in a child. There is a a large number of information on this issue.

Video: Children's aggression. How to help a child get rid of it?

You can try to apply all these activities and developments in life. Some of the children do not like to draw, but will be happy to compose a story with fictional characters. Some guys love to build and destroy. And someone simply feels the need to shout, thus releasing their anger.

Aggressive child recommendations for parents

Whatever method you choose, you should understand that this is only transitional stage for your child.

Games and exercises can help relieve stress, but they are not a panacea.
The child must learn to deal with his emotions constructively, expressing them in words. Having spoken about the true cause of his disorder, he will feel relieved and will be able to start looking for solutions to his problem. Agree, when everything inside is bubbling with anger, it’s difficult to find a way out
Perhaps, during classes with your child, you will understand that the problem of childhood aggression lies in yourself, in the parents
It's hard to admit this, but it doesn't mean you're a bad mother or a bad father. This speaks of you as an adult, responsible person. With some effort, you can change the situation. And no matter what your child does, remember, he expects you to love him no matter what.
Confidence in your need and value for the most important people in your life - your parents - can work wonders even with the most notorious hooligans

Video: How to teach a child to manage his emotions and express his feelings?

Games for aggressive children

Children's lives, especially younger age, 90% consists of games. Through them, the child experiences the world and learns to live in it. Therefore, often when there are not enough words to explain to a child how to cope with the passions raging within him, game situations can and should be used
Hit each other with pillows, have a “war” with snowballs in winter and water pistols in summer, play darts, cheering loudly with each hit, run races, play sea battle
This will help the child relieve internal tension. Remember the films in which the hero, angry, threw a cake in the face of his opponent, and it all ended with laughter and amicable eating of the remaining sweets

Exercises for aggressive children

In addition to simple games known to everyone since childhood, in interaction with children who are often prone to show aggression, exercises developed by psychologists are used.

Video: Games to reduce children's aggression

Classes with aggressive children

During all the games and exercises mentioned above, it is important to let the child understand that with their help he can cope with his emotions without your direct help
During a quarrel, you can, for example, say: “We are both very angry now, let’s take pillows and fight until we forgive each other.” Thus, you will not only relieve tension, but also show how the conflict can be resolved without casualties
Another important point in any activities with a child is to set the boundaries of what is permitted: during a pillow fight, it is necessary to stipulate that hitting can only be done with a pillow, without using the legs. If you need to cope with verbal aggression, then you can call them names, but not offensively, for example, with the names of vegetables

Raising aggressive children

Necessary components educational process Children who do not know how to express their emotions constructively are guided by reflection and personal example.

The concept of reflection implies the ability to analyze one’s feelings. When a child screams or hits other children, he does not always understand what is happening to him. It is important to talk to him about this so that he feels your participation and support in a difficult situation for him.

Children learn all the ways they interact with other people primarily in the family. Pay attention to how you and your loved ones deal with anger. Maybe your baby is just copying adults? And before you change his behavior, you need to change yourself?

Video: Children's anger and aggression. Why do our children become evil?

Why is a child aggressive with other children?

It is not uncommon for parents to learn that a child is behaving aggressively from third parties. Complaints from a teacher or educator are puzzling. What is the right thing to do in this situation? What measures should be taken
First of all, you need to take a deep breath and understand the situation. What exactly happened? Under what circumstances? The child shows aggression towards someone in particular or towards all children
It is also important to find out the child’s opinion on this issue. Try asking him. But don't push. Children cannot always talk about their experiences
You should pay attention to what he does in the evening. Did you tear off the doll's head? Talk about what the doll did, whether it was good or bad, and why it needed to be punished. You can draw together and use the drawing to act out a situation that happened during the day

Psychologist's work with aggressive children

If you can’t figure out the reasons for your child’s constant aggressive outbursts on your own, you don’t need to let the situation take its course. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist can be equally useful for both parents and the child.

A specialist will help you understand what is behind this behavior and give recommendations on raising your baby. In some cases, psychotherapy may be necessary correctional work.

Correction of aggression in children

When the word “psychocorrection” is mentioned, many parents have a panic attack: there’s something wrong with my child, he’s not normal, how did it happen, that others will think, they’ll suddenly think that my child is crazy. But don’t avoid asking for help because of your own fears.

Thanks to the fact that you and your child do not visit a psychologist, the problem will not disappear. Think about what is more important: how you will look in the eyes of others or the health of your baby.

Depending on the type of child problem, correctional work may be:

individual - the child works with a psychologist one on one. More suitable for older teenagers who are not ready for group work
family - when classes with a psychologist are attended by the whole family or one of the family members and the child. This type of activity is ideal for younger children. He is able to teach not only the baby himself to cope with strong emotions, but also help mom and dad correctly understand and respond to their child’s emotional outbursts
group - the child attends classes together with peers. Through play situations and communication, he learns to better understand himself and behave in society in an acceptable way, without humiliating or offending others.

Prevention of aggressive behavior in children

Parents' fears that their child has serious problems are not always justified. Often, seemingly insurmountable difficulties turn out to be not so terrible in reality.

Still, it is important to listen to your children and understand what is happening in their lives now. With the right attitude, you can easily prevent an aggressive outburst, direct strong emotions in the right direction and reconcile the child with his own feelings, and therefore with the whole world!

Video: How to extinguish aggression in a child (Sh.A. Amonashvili)

The aggressive behavior of a five-year-old child is expressed in the fact that he begins to break, destroy objects that come his way, and offends those around him, who often have nothing to do with his offenses. Parents usually cannot find an explanation for such actions of their children. There is always a reason that provokes a child to aggressive behavior. And finding out is the joint task of parents, teachers and psychologists.

An aggressive child at 5 years old may be hysterical or manipulative

If there is such a bully kid in the team, then the well-being of the children's group is jeopardized.

Aggressive behavior five-year-old children are expressed in the fact that they lose control, argue with elders, and behave rudely and ruthlessly with peers. Such a child will never admit to his mistakes; he will definitely justify himself and shift the blame onto other children.

Traits such as vindictiveness, envy, wariness and suspicion are characteristic of children prone to aggression.

Determination of aggressiveness in preschool children

If you observe the behavior of five-year-old bullies, you will notice the following signs:

the child constantly tries to bully, push or call other children;
he likes to break or destroy things;
he constantly tries to provoke others, angers teachers, parents or peers in order to receive reciprocal aggression;
he deliberately does not fulfill the demands of adults, for example, does not go to wash his hands, does not tidy up toys, in order to be scolded. Moreover, having received a remark, he may burst into tears so that they begin to feel sorry for him. This is how an aggressive child can “release” internal tension and anxiety.

Aggressive children often start fights

The reasons for a child’s aggressive behavior at this age can be the family situation, temperament, socio-biological reasons, the age component, and even “personal” circumstances. Each child must be dealt with individually. But it is still possible to systematize the reasons.

Discord in the family is one of the serious reasons, causing anger in a 5-year-old child. Frequent quarrels, family proceedings provoke the child’s anger. He projects family relationships onto the environment.

Parental quarrels are the cause of aggressiveness

Indifference on the part of relatives is another reason for a child’s aggressive behavior. In an atmosphere of indifference, the emotional connection between the child and parents does not develop. At the age of five, children really need this connection.

Lack of respect for the child. As a result, the baby is not confident in himself, begins to develop complexes and assert himself.

As a rule, all these feelings are expressed in the manifestation of anger towards others and oneself.

Excessive control or lack thereof also leads to aggression.

Family reasons for aggression

Personal reasons causing aggression lie in the instability and instability of the psycho emotional state child. The most common are the following:

Certain situations can trigger children's aggression. For example, a child is overtired, he is overwhelmed by impressions of what he saw or heard, he simply did not sleep well. All this can result in an outburst of anger.

Problems with learning can cause outbursts of aggression

Sometimes certain foods can cause aggression. For example, the level of cholesterol in the blood may decrease, as a result of which aggressiveness will increase (this is an officially proven fact by science).

Or, for example, due to excessive consumption of chocolate, a child may experience outbursts of anger.

Environmental conditions can also cause children to become angry. Loud noise, vibrations, stuffiness, or being in a small space can irritate your child.

The amount of chocolate and aggression in children are interconnected

It has been noticed that children who permanently live in areas of busy highways, near the railway, are much more irritable than those who live in residential areas.

The type of temperament also influences the manifestation of aggression. There is one nuance here - temperament cannot be corrected. But, knowing the signs of each type of temperament, you can correct the child’s behavior.

A melancholic child tends to experience stress from participating in competitions and from various innovations. These conditions make them feel angry, but they express their emotions passively.

There is an opinion that the Internet and computer games contribute to aggression

In phlegmatic people, aggression is also expressed, one might even say calmly. Equilibrium nervous system allows owners of this type of temperament to control themselves. External manifestations of rage are very rare in such children.

Sanguine people tend to be peaceful and are not inclined to show aggression towards other children. A sanguine child is aggressive only when he has exhausted all possibilities for peaceful resolution of issues.

But choleric people are prone to fits of rage from childhood. A child of this psychotype is characterized by extreme imbalance, nervousness and hot temper. More often than not, they take actions first and then think about their actions.

At the age of five, boys show signs of aggression much more often than their peers. It is at this age that children begin to differentiate by gender. The social stereotype that a boy should be stronger, and therefore more militant, than a girl plays an important role.

Reasons for different types of aggressiveness

Social reasons in this age category also matter. Children at the age of 5 are observant; they assimilate the value systems that are accepted in their environment.

Thus, a child from a family where people are treated depending on their position and social status may be aggressive towards the cleaning lady, but will be restrained towards the teacher. If there is a cult of material wealth in the family, then a child at the age of 5 will take these values for granted and will direct his aggression towards those who earn little, towards those children who do not have expensive toys.

Violence against a child can cause aggression

Forms and purposes of aggression in five-year-old children

Aggression in children aged five can be expressed both physically and verbally. Moreover, aggressive behavior can have either a mental or emotional basis. What is the reason for the aggressiveness of five-year-old children? What do they want to achieve with their bellicose behavior?

And the goals for children can be the following:

expressing your anger and hostility;
an attempt to show one's superiority;
intimidate others;
achieve what you want in any way;
an attempt to overcome any fears.

Aggression against other children is the most common manifestation

Modern psychologists distinguish between 2 options for the manifestation of aggression in children of this age:

This is impulsive aggression, which is committed in a hysterical state, it manifests itself spontaneously and is accompanied by very high emotional stress.
Predatory aggression, which, most often, is planned as a way to get what you want. For example, by deliberately breaking a toy, a child throws an aggressive tantrum in order to be bought another one.

Moreover, psychologists note that children who are more developed at 5 years old choose the tactics of aggression according to the second option. Whereas, less developed children are more prone to impulsive aggression.

The behavior of children from 4 to 6 years old is characterized by the manifestation of anger towards peers. During this period, children begin to realize that they are part of society, so they have contradictions and grievances, both real and far-fetched. It is these feelings that make the child attack others.

What are the consequences of aggressive behavior?

If a five-year-old bully constantly tries to “bully” his peers, is aggressive towards adults, treats animals with malice, is very sensitive and touchy, then this behavior must be treated with increased attention. All of these symptoms taken together may indicate a predisposition to violent acts.

Parents should closely monitor their child and, if attacks of anger recur periodically, then they should seek help from specialist psychologists. This behavior is truly a problem that needs to be addressed.

Fights in kindergarten - consequences of aggressiveness

What factors can increase the aggressive behavior of a five-year-old child?

Teachers, psychologists and parents should be very careful if

the child has experienced any violence;
he observed violence in the family or among others;
saw violence on television;
there are people in the family who use alcohol or drugs;
if the family is at the stage of ending the marriage;
in a family where there is only a mother, the parents do not have jobs and are not well off;
Firearms are stored in the house.

Parents must teach their child to be patient and be able to manage emotions. The family should limit their baby from the negative effects of the environment. But it is impossible to isolate the baby. Therefore, you need to talk to the baby and teach him to cope with negative emotions.

Hours of watching TV leads to outbursts of uncontrolled aggression

The risk of increasing the level of aggression in 5-year-old children arises if a particular child’s mutual understanding with peers is disrupted, and the child begins to feel isolated. The result is increased aggressiveness. Parents and teachers should help the child get rid of this, try to set the child up positively and change his behavior.
There is another factor that stimulates aggressive behavior - shortcomings in upbringing. It happens that parents simply encourage the child to become embittered towards the world around him.
Depression that occurs in children is also a stimulus for anger.
Of course, deviations are also a factor that stimulates aggression. mental development. These are various conditions bordering on schizophrenia and paranoia.
Autistic and mentally retarded children are also susceptible to aggressive attacks. The behavior of such children can be aggressive due to disappointment, resentment, and inability to cope with emotions.
Destructive disorders can also stimulate aggressive behavior.

In order to cope with the aggressive behavior of a 5-year-old child, you need to find out the cause and stimulating factors of anger.

Parents of those children who are prone to aggression must learn to manage the behavior of their children. Positive contact should be established with the child, and parents should praise him for good behavior.

about the danger of punishment

At the age of 5, a child cannot be physically punished. Such punishment will not stop an aggressive child; on the contrary, the problem will worsen. If children who are prone to aggression are punished, they begin to misbehave more often, but hide their actions.

In this case, the child’s psyche may be shaken, and he will develop a desire for violence. Children with such behavior are classified as high-risk groups. As adults, these children are at risk of developing mental illness.

Psychologists believe that a common problem among parents is children’s quarrels with their sisters and brothers. If a child behaves this way towards his family, then with unfamiliar children, he may simply become uncontrollable.

The task of parents is to teach a 5-year-old child the basics of social behavior and emotion management skills.

One of the options is martial arts classes, where the child learns not only the basics of self-defense, but also learns correct behavior.

Teachers and parents should make it clear to children that all issues can be resolved peacefully, learn to assess the situation and control their emotions.

How to reduce a child's aggressiveness through play activities

“Toy in the fist”: Give the child the task of closing his eyes. Let him take a toy or candy in his hand. Then the baby should firmly grasp this object in his fist. After a few seconds, you need to ask to open the handle. The surprise that the child sees in the palm of his hand will be a pleasant surprise.

“Bag of anger”: You need to have a “bag of anger” at home. The child will “put” his aggressive emotions into this bag. If you take an ordinary ball, but instead of air, pump it with grain or sand, then a container will appear where they hide negative points. This pouch is used to avoid aggression.

“Tuh-tibi-duh.” If the child begins to get angry, then you need to invite him to walk around the room, saying the phrase: “Tuh-tibi-doh.”

Words should be pronounced very actively, with anger. As soon as the baby starts to laugh, you need to stop saying these words.

When you see that the child’s behavior is becoming aggressive, he is irritated, then invite him to draw his feelings or mold them from plasticine or salt dough. While working, ask your child about what he is doing and what feelings he is experiencing. These actions distract from an aggressive mood.

Together with your child, make a small pillow “for anger.” As soon as the child begins to get irritated, ask him not to be nervous, but simply beat the pillow with his hands. The hysteria will gradually fade away.

Playing sports is a way to relieve aggressiveness

Make it clear that fighting and attacking others is not a solution to problems. If he is aggressive and angry, then no one will be friends with him.

So, at 5 years old a child can behave aggressively. Factors that provoke aggression are very difficult to avoid. But parents, with the help of teachers and psychologists, must do everything to ensure that the child is irritated as little as possible.

Children's aggression is not unreasonable. It is imperative to find out why the child’s behavior manifests itself in anger.

Perhaps the reasons are in the family, maybe he himself is prone to such manifestations of anger due to his temperament, or perhaps he is not comfortable in a team.

In any case, parents and teachers must find the reasons for this behavior of a 5-year-old child and help him get rid of excessive aggression.

Source:
Aggressive behavior of a child aged 5 years
aggressive behavior of a 5 year old child
http://detki.guru/psihologiya-rebenka/agressivnoe-povedenie-5-let.html

Sometimes the parents of a child who has started going to school or is just about to enter first grade are faced with the problem of attacks of aggression in their child. How to behave in this age crisis and what to do if he does not listen to his parents and teachers?

Aggression in children is a negative reaction to various actions or comments of others. If a child is not brought up correctly, this reaction can develop from a temporary one into a permanent one and become a trait of his character.

The sources of a child’s aggressive behavior can be somatic or brain diseases, as well as improper upbringing. Another reason for this behavior may be the age crisis.

At this time, children begin to recognize themselves as students, and this is a new role for them. This contributes to the emergence of a new psychological quality in the child - self-esteem.

Watch a video about the causes of crisis in children aged seven and methods for overcoming it:

From now on this is no longer little baby, but a real adult who strives to become independent. At 6-7 years old, children lose their natural childishness, so they deliberately begin to make faces and behave unreasonably. The reason for this is that children begin to separate the inner “I” from external behavior. They are aware that their behavior can cause reactions from others. Unnatural behavior shows that this is just a child’s experiment, although because of such experiences of the baby, the parents are very worried and worried. Besides, It becomes difficult to put the child to bed or send him to wash, an unusual reaction appears:

neglect of requests;
thinking about why to do this;
negation;
contradictions and bickering.

During this period, children demonstrably violate parental prohibitions. They criticize any rules that they did not set themselves, and strive to take the position of adults. The existing principles are understood by the child as a childish image that needs to be overcome.

There are times when children begin to make various sounds: croaking, mooing, chirping, and the like. This could just be a continuation of their experiments, but this time with sounds and words. If your child does not have speech problems, then there is no reason to worry. If there are any defects or stuttering, you should consult a doctor.

Express your approval of your child’s independent actions, allow him to be autonomous;
Try to become an adviser, not a prohibitor. Support in difficult moments;
Talk to your child about adult topics;
Find out his thoughts on an issue of interest, listen to him, this is much better than criticism;
Let the child express his opinion, and if he is wrong, then gently correct him;
Allow yourself to recognize his views and express agreement - nothing threatens your authority, and your offspring’s self-esteem will be strengthened;
Let your child know that he is valued by you, respected and understood that if he makes a mistake, you will always be there and provide help;
Show your child the possibility of achieving the goal. Praise him for his success;
Try to give answers to all the child’s questions. Even if the questions are repeated, repeat the answer patiently.

Actions that show him that there are other opportunities to attract attention and show strength will help reduce a child’s unstimulated aggression. To look like an adult, you don’t need to assert yourself at the expense of those who are weaker, or use bad words when irritated. The following methods for emotional release are recommended:

Tear into pieces paper that you always need to have with you;
Shout loudly in a special place;
Play sports, run and jump;
Knocking out rugs and pillows will be useful;
Practice hitting the punching bag;
Playing with water helps a lot (contemplation of water and its inhabitants in aquariums, fishing, throwing stones into a pond, etc.)

When a child has attacks of aggression, parents need to be calm and restrained. You need to try to understand how your child feels. The most important thing is to love and understand your baby, give him more attention and time.

Unconditional love - The best way fight against aggression. Moms and dads know their children very well and are able to prevent unexpected outbursts of anger. Physical aggression is easier to curb than verbal aggression. At the moment of a surge of emotions, when the child pouts his lips, squints his eyes, or otherwise demonstrates his dissatisfaction, you need to try to redirect his attention to another object, activity, or simply hold him. If the aggression could not be stopped in time, it is necessary to convince the child that this should not be done, it is very bad.

Among other things, at the age of 7 years, children begin to pay attention to their appearance and clothes. They strive to look like adults. For the first time, the child critically evaluates his behavior. During this period, shyness can very easily develop; the child is not always able to adequately evaluate the opinions of others. An incorrect assessment of what is happening can frighten a child and make him afraid of attracting attention. It may be difficult to establish contacts. But sometimes children are just naturally shy.

A shy child is more susceptible; often those around him are unable to understand him. Moms and dads are encouraged to emphasize the good qualities of their children more often. Thus, his self-confidence needs to be nurtured. Under no circumstances should you be angry with your child for his shyness. He may feel somehow flawed, different from the others. This may have a bad effect on the development of his character. As an adult, a person will remember his childhood resentment. A child will not become brave and decisive from constant reproaches, but he is able to withdraw from it.

Here are three easy ways to help your child:

Report how people behave.
Show how people feel.
Don't be negative.

I hope I have explained the essence clearly; if additional explanations are needed, I am ready to answer your questions.

You can find out Dr. Komarovsky’s opinion about the actions of parents by watching the following video.

Source:
Aggression in a 7-year-old child: advice from a psychologist
Everyone knows about the age crisis of 7 years, but not everyone knows how to behave correctly during this period. What to do if he doesn’t listen? Has a 7 year old child developed aggression? You urgently need advice from a psychologist! We will be happy to share information with you about this problem.
http://www.o-krohe.ru/psihologiya/agressiya-u-rebenka-7-let/

Aggression in a child: preventing it from becoming a habit

First of all, it must be said that aggression And aggressiveness- these are different concepts. Aggression is, in other words, an active form of expressing the emotion of anger; it is a quick reaction to some kind of “irritant” that is negative for the child, which can manifest itself in causing damage to a person or object. Aggressiveness is behavior that has become habitual, one might even say, a personality quality.

Usually a child begins to fight in a situation where he cannot get his way, then different children achieve this in different ways: someone whines, someone throws hysterics, someone sulks and withdraws, thus “punishing” adults. And someone tries to defend their desires with their fists.

Until one year of age, a child mainly studies the world around him. In the second year of life, the child's activity increases. Now he is becoming more interested in people. As a rule, the child already begins to walk, and opportunities for research abilities increase. And therefore aggression manifests itself precisely in the sphere of learning communication and mastering the basic rules of behavior.
The manifestation of a child’s aggression at this age is associated with the inconsistency of parents. Teaching the rules of behavior “depending on the mood” or connivance, permission to do whatever you want, leads to the fact that the child does not form the basic “don’ts”, and therefore he reacts violently when they “suddenly” appear.
The “self-education” of parents helps a lot with this problem: follow only two rules yourself:

There should be few of these “don’ts” (no more than five main ones, from the category of things that are dangerous to the life and health of the baby)
These “don’ts” must always be followed, regardless of the parents’ mood.

But what to do with the rest of the “cannots”? – Replace them with “maybe.” For example, a child enthusiastically tears book pages, enjoying the sound and his “ability to transform objects” - give him an old newspaper and say that THIS IS POSSIBLE to tear.
To achieve the correct response to the word “impossible”, you need a little: patience, agreement between adults (so that it doesn’t happen: what dad prohibits, mom allows). As the child grows up, the “don’ts” are replaced by others, and this will happen less painfully.

At three or four years old, the phenomenon of “transfer” arises, the essence of which is that the child at this age does not dare to openly pour out his anger on his mother and father (primarily because they are adults and enjoy real authority) and suffers anger and aggressiveness to another, much more harmless object.
Children who, growing up, do not learn to suppress their aggressiveness and communicate with others through oral speech, often turn into real brawlers. With the help of fights, children can get the things they want, but this will make them outcasts in the children's company and other children will be afraid of them. To speed up the “growing up aggression” moment (and help protect other children!), you can use tips to help your child break aggressive habits.

– verbal and physical activity, aimed at causing harm to one’s own health, people, animals, and external objects. Based on negative emotions, the desire to harm. Manifested by disobedience, irritability, cruelty, insults, slander, threats, refusal to communicate, acts of violence (bites, blows). Diagnosed by a psychiatrist or psychologist. The research is carried out using the method of conversation, observation, questionnaires, questionnaires, and projective tests are used. Treatment includes group and individual psychotherapy - training in ways to control emotions and safely express anger.

ICD-10

R45.6 F91

General information

Aggressive behavior is detected in children of all ages. It primarily serves as a way of expressing negative emotions - irritation, anger, anger. Observing the result of such behavior, the child evaluates its usefulness. Secondarily, he demonstrates aggression with a specific goal - to get toys, food, to attract the attention of parents, to prove strength, importance, to subjugate others. The more often the desired is achieved, the more firmly aggressiveness is consolidated in behavior, becoming a quality of character. The prevalence of this phenomenon is difficult to determine, since every child displays aggression throughout his life. In boys it occurs earlier and is open in nature. In girls it manifests itself indirectly.

Causes

The causes of aggression are varied - accumulated emotional stress, inability to express insult in words, lack of attention from adults, the desire to get someone else’s toy, to show strength to peers. Often children harm others or themselves because they feel helpless, sad, resentful, but cannot understand their own condition and do not have the communication skills to resolve the problem. The following groups of causes of aggressiveness are distinguished:

Family relationships. The formation of aggression is facilitated by demonstrations of cruelty, violence, disrespect, frequent conflicts in the family, and parental indifference. The child copies the behavior of the mother, the father - argues, provokes fights, openly shows anger, disobedience in order to attract attention.
Personal characteristics. The instability of the emotional state is manifested by anger and irritation. Fear, fatigue, poor health are expressed through aggression, and feelings of guilt and low self-esteem are compensated for.
Features of the nervous system. Children with an unbalanced weak type of central nervous system are prone to aggression. They tolerate stress less well and are less resistant to the effects of physical and psychological discomfort.
Socio-biological factors. The severity of aggressiveness is determined by the child’s gender, role expectations, and social status. Boys are often instilled with the idea that a man should be able to fight, to “fight back.”
Situational factors. Emotional lability in childhood is manifested by outbursts of irritation and anger when accidentally exposed to external unfavorable events. A child can be provoked by a bad school grade, the need to do homework, physical discomfort caused by hunger, or a tiring trip.

Pathogenesis

The physiological basis of children's aggressiveness is an imbalance in the processes of excitation-inhibition of the central nervous system, the functional immaturity of individual brain structures responsible for the control of emotions and behavior. When exposed to a stimulus, excitation predominates, and the process of inhibition “lags.” The psychological basis of children's aggressiveness is a low ability for self-regulation, lack of developed communication skills, dependence on adults, and unstable self-esteem. Children's aggression is a way to relieve stress during emotional, mental stress, and poor health. Purposeful aggressive behavior is focused on getting what you want and protecting your own interests.

Classification

Many classifications of aggressive behavior have been developed. Based on the direction of actions, a distinction is made between heteroaggression – causing harm to others, and auto-aggression – causing harm to oneself. Based on etiology, there are reactive aggression, which occurs as a reaction to external factors, and spontaneous aggression, motivated by internal impulses. The classification according to the form of manifestation is of practical importance:

Expressive aggression. Demonstration methods – intonation, facial expressions, gestures, postures. Diagnostically difficult option. Aggressive acts are not recognized or denied by the child.
Verbal aggression. It is realized through words - insults, threats, swearing. The most common option among schoolgirls.
Physical aggression. Damage is caused using physical force. This form common among children early age, schoolchildren (boys).

Symptoms

Basic manifestations of aggression are observed in infants up to one year old. In children aged 1-3 years, conflicts arise due to the appropriation of toys and other personal belongings. Children bite, push, fight, throw objects, spit, scream. Attempts by parents to suppress the child's reactions with punishments aggravate the situation. In preschoolers, physical expression of aggression is observed less frequently, since speech is actively developing and its communicative function is being mastered.

The need for communication is growing, but productive interaction is hampered by egocentricity, the inability to accept someone else’s point of view, and to objectively assess the interaction situation. Misunderstandings and grievances arise that give rise to verbal aggression - swearing, insults, threats. Younger schoolchildren have a basic level of self-control and are able to suppress aggression as a way of expressing resentment, displeasure, and fear.

At the same time, they actively use it to protect their interests and defend their point of view. Beginning to be determined gender characteristics aggressiveness. The boys act openly, use physical force - they fight, trip them, “snap” them on the forehead. Girls choose indirect and verbal methods - ridicule, giving nicknames, gossip, ignoring, silence. Representatives of both sexes show signs of low self-esteem and depression.

In adolescence, aggression arises as a result of hormonal changes and the accompanying emotional lability and complication of social contacts. There is a need to prove your importance, strength, and relevance. Aggression is either suppressed, replaced by productive activities, or takes extreme forms - boys and girls fight, injure opponents, and attempt suicide.

Complications

Frequent aggressiveness, reinforced by upbringing and a dysfunctional family environment, is fixed in the child’s personality traits. TO adolescence Characterological traits are formed based on anger, bitterness, and resentment. Accentuations and psychopathy develop - personality disorders with a predominance of aggression. The risk of social maladjustment, deviant behavior, and crime increases. With auto-aggression, children harm themselves and attempt suicide.

Diagnostics

Diagnosis of aggressive behavior in children is relevant when the frequency and severity of manifestations are excessive. The decision to see a psychiatrist or psychologist is made by parents independently or after the recommendation of teachers. The basis of the diagnostic process is the clinical conversation. The doctor listens to complaints, finds out the medical history, and additionally studies characteristics from the kindergarten and school. Objective research includes the use of special psychodiagnostic methods:

Questionnaires, observation. Parents and teachers are asked to answer a number of questions/statements about the characteristics of the child’s behavior. Observation is carried out according to a scheme that includes a number of criteria. The results make it possible to establish the form of aggression, its severity, and causes.
Personality questionnaires. Used to examine adolescents. They identify the presence of aggressiveness in the general structure of the personality and ways to compensate for it. Common methods are the Leonhard-Smishek questionnaire, the pathocharacterological diagnostic questionnaire (Lichko).
Drawing tests. The severity of symptoms, causes, and unconscious emotions are determined by the features of the drawings. The tests used are Non-existent animal, Cactus, Human.
Interpretive tests. Refer to projective methods, reveal the unconscious, hidden experiences of the child. The examination is carried out using the Rosenzweig Frustration Reactions Test, Hand-test (hand test).

Treatment of aggressive behavior in children

If aggression is severe, correction by psychotherapy methods is required. The use of medications is justified when anger, impulsivity, and bitterness are symptoms of a mental disorder (psychopathy, acute psychosis). It is impossible to cure aggressiveness forever; it will arise in a child in certain life situations. The task of psychologists and psychotherapists is to help resolve personal problems, teach adequate ways of expressing feelings, resolving conflict situations. Common correction methods include:

. Presented with express methods of safe expression of aggression. The child is encouraged to throw out anger, irritation, anger without harm to others. Games with a ball, bulk materials, water, and “leaves of anger” are used.
Communication trainings. Group work allows the child to develop effective communication strategies, ways of expressing emotions, defending his position without harming others. Children receive feedback (reactions of participants), analyze successes and mistakes with a psychotherapist.
Relaxation activities. Aimed at reducing anxiety and emotional tension - factors that increase the risk of outbursts of aggressiveness. Children learn to restore deep breathing, achieve muscle relaxation, and switch attention.

Prognosis and prevention

Aggressive behavior of children is successfully corrected with the joint efforts of parents, teachers, and psychologists. The prognosis is favorable in most cases. To prevent the consolidation of aggression as the preferred method of interaction, it is necessary to adhere to a harmonious parenting style, demonstrate ways to resolve conflicts peacefully, treat the child with respect, and allow expressions of anger in a safe form. Don't focus on minor aggressive behavior. When discussing manifestations of aggressiveness, it is important to talk about actions, but not about personal qualities (“you acted cruelly”, not “you are cruel”).

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