How to behave on a first date It is equally interesting for many girls and boys. Perhaps due to lack of experience or due to the fact that they simply forgot the time of their first meetings and acquaintances. This is a fairly common occurrence and nothing to be ashamed of. But to screw up due to incorrect behavior, forcing events and inflated demands is shameful! We suggest you consider some useful tips that will help you create a good impression of yourself.
First, keep in mind that the first impression is formed within 15 minutes of conversation. In this case, girls only need 40 seconds to evaluate their partner. Therefore, during the period of visual contact, it is important to monitor your gait, gestures and facial expressions. Go!
How to impress on a first date?
On a first date, a lot depends on even a banal greeting. Luckily, I came across the book “Games People Play.” This work perfectly addresses the issue related to greetings. It may be difficult to believe that a banal “hello” can be said in so many different ways that you will charm some people while letting others know that you are not interested in their company.
So, on the first date, girls’ greetings should combine a touch of embarrassment and charm. A timid and shy “hello” will charm any guy.
Any guy should say hello in a confident, bold tone. In this case, in no case will your “hello”, “hello”, etc. should not be accompanied by a bad smile.
Sometimes success on a first date is doomed to failure due to poor eye contact. You can't study a girl with too close a gaze. Keep in mind that each of them is too concerned about how she looks in the eyes of the guy. It is much more appropriate, after a “visual inspection,” to make several subtle but accurate hits regarding its appearance than to eat it with your eyes. Make sure your look doesn't get boring.
It is important for girls to lower their eyes in a timely manner. It is important that the guy feels comfortable. To feel that his gaze causes embarrassment. Thus, everything will proceed in the most comfortable environment for both sexes.
If your views touch each other as part of an interesting conversation, remember one important thing that Allan Pease perfectly revealed in his work. Perhaps I'm wrong about the author. But the book is definitely dedicated to facial expressions and gestures. In general, our view has a unique feature. With the right gaze, people will like you. It's important to keep your eyes lit. To do this, during eye contact, imagine something that brings you joy and happiness. In this case, the effect will be charming. Your look will gain charm. You can be sure that everyone uses this trick successful people and movie stars. They are taught this in special educational institutions. Did not know? Then let's continue.
Many guys make the mistake of trying to take a girl's hand in a way that isn't shy or too brazen. It should be understood that girls feel any uncertainty. They are much more developed than us in terms of assessment. It is important to remain calm at every stage. It largely depends on the girl. If there is some tension from the very beginning, then don’t worry about fanaticism and perseverance. Just end the evening right. If all is well, you should use one of several tips:
- The first touch to a girl's hand should not be intrusive. Run the tip of your hand over her finger.
- There are several options for taking a girl by the hand. If you have already made the first contact, you can continue in the same smooth spirit. Grab your little finger with your little finger. If she doesn't remove her hand, take it and run away! Just kidding, keep up the good work.
- It's important not to ruin everything. There shouldn't be much touching. In addition, your hands tend to sweat. Don't cause discomfort.
Now you are already walking hand in hand. But where?
If you are not 30 years old... And you are younger, otherwise you wouldn’t be reading how to behave on a first date, then pay attention! There is such a thing as the principle of mutual exchange. On the first date, it is not recommended to pay for a girl. This can ruin everything, because the girl will feel entitled, and this is not always good. Whatever one may say, it is better to avoid awkward moments.
Alternatively, meet in pairs on the first date. In this case it will be more fun. Many girls take girlfriends. Honestly, it annoys me, and I think a lot of guys do too. But that's the point. If you know there will be a girlfriend, take a friend! Then thank him if the girlfriend is not very good. As a rule, this happens, because they do not bring with them girls who outshine them. You can take the same friend who constantly jokes and doesn’t bother you with questions. Then the question of where to go will not make sense. It's fun everywhere with friends like these!
Being nervous and worried, being unsure of yourself and not knowing how to behave, what to talk about with a man, you can make your first date your last. To avoid making mistakes, follow the suggested rules for a first date. You will receive both pleasure from it and a guaranteed continuation of the new relationship.
What to do to have a great first date? Let's talk about the first date, because it is one of the most important.
1. The first meeting should be short
It's not three hours over a hookah. This is an hour, maximum an hour, so that a slight aftertaste remains, so that you want more. If you’ve already been sitting for three hours, you’ve gone over all the topics, there are already pauses - this is not good for you, this is wrong. An hour, forty minutes – great. A short date, a short meeting...
2. Compliment
Please do not forget to give at least one compliment to the man at the first meeting. It can be a compliment story, it can be a classic compliment, whatever you like, but it must be done.
Because men feel this feminine energy. Either you give it away or you are closed. To open up, give a compliment, a very simple thing.
If you want to learn more about how to give a compliment correctly, and which compliments catch men the most, go to and get my book for free "How to attract a decent man".
3. History
Tell us what surprised, delighted, amazed you Lately. For what? So that you reveal your emotionality. So that you excitedly tell how you and your friends went to the circus or the zoo, or you had some kind of adventure.
When you start talking with people like that big eyes, living through the situation in which he was, a man feels: “Cool, she has so many emotions, so much energy, I’m interested in this.”
Men like this, so one of the “hooks” is a story about some bright interesting event. He will understand that your life is full of interesting moments.
4. Open up
Open up to him.
You need to open up so that show strengths, not weaknesses and at the same time, so that your advantages are as close as possible to your femininity.
Let me explain: if you open up about the fact that at work you often have to yell at your subordinates instead of your boss and because of this you have terrible dreams, this will most likely scare the man away.
So that you don't be stupid important point, here are the themes that are safe (they can and should be formulated in history):
You saw something unexpected and got scared, confused, surprised. You are emotional, and in some places this bothers you.
You trust people, and sometimes this makes you feel bad, so you don’t have enough person to “pump up” you on this issue.
Sometimes you give in, and if you need to do something, you don’t always do it, you scold yourself. Not super-duper purposeful, often distracted by extraneous noises, but not fatally.
Excessive compassion, which also sometimes interferes with life: I took a kitten, felt sorry for a puppy, helped my grandmother, burst into tears at the movies, etc.
Sometimes you act weird like a little girl, and people think you're crazy.
Did you catch it? These are like your shortcomings, but at the same time, from the point of view of femininity, they are advantages. This way you can open up as you please.: a man will be very pleased, he will want to be your mentor, assistant, so throw in a couple of topics for yourself before the date and use it.
There is one caveat:
To get straight to the point and open up in a way that is guaranteed to please him, ask the man in advance about this or that female “joint” in the 3rd person. For example, “My friend has this disadvantage. She tells the man what she feels, just like it is. Vasya, now I’m sitting with you and I feel good, but I feel like something is missing, some story about you, tell me, huh?”
And depending on the male feedback, you either ignore this topic, or connect and direct it towards yourself. You check this or that point using the “my friend’s…” technique, use it!
5. Admiration
You are emotional, he has already enjoyed the communication. Next point. You need to admire, at least once, his achievements.
Of course, you will most likely talk about work, about success in society. Men love to talk about what worked and didn’t work for them. Reveal yourself as moral support: “Yes, you have captured the entire niche! Wow, you are so great! Cool, this is the first time I’ve seen such a man who managed to do everything and did it here too. Great, I want to say you’re great, because this is very valuable...”
You admire his success in business, in his life's work. A man will feel: “Yeah, cool, I’m pleased, I feel good, other women didn’t care about my successes, and my life is my successes. They talked about themselves, but this woman cared. She’s delighted, great, I’ll go and earn some more money. She told me pleasant words, I felt great.”
Therefore, you open up, admiring his achievements.
6. Weakness
This point is also important - be weak during the first meeting. He must take control of the situation, into his own hands and manage the situation completely. What I mean: the man opens the door of the car himself, escorts you to the restaurant, finds a seat, negotiates with the waiters, turns off or turns on the air conditioning - were you cold or hot. Called the waiter to bring you something, help, blankets...
He must look after you. You don't have to do everything yourself. No need, enough! You are a girl. If a man has no reason to court a woman, he will court another woman. That’s why you act like this: you were confused, you asked, you took advantage of his help. You don't decide anything on your own.
Let him from the very beginning, from the first seconds, get used to being a man next to you. You, like a little girl, thank: “Oh, thank you very much, if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have managed it.” Even if you are 50-60 and you are a cool businesswoman, it doesn’t matter. The roles must be correct and natural. Well, the rest depends on the situation.
There are, of course, topics that should not be discussed with a man. There are mistakes you shouldn't make, but you already have some options. Remember these basic things, do them, then you will have more or less good date default.
Remember that a good date, a good meeting, is when a man, before you have finished, is already planning your next, second meeting. He assigns an event, occasion, date, time, place, etc. This means the man is fascinated. Try it, go on dates, remember these things.
A first date is a wonderful and exciting event at the same time. But, let's be honest, it's more exciting than beautiful. This is the hassle in the preparation process, and the fear of being late (or maybe arriving much earlier), accompanied by the fear that the other person will not come at all, and awkwardness, and too long pauses in the conversation, and the inability to completely relax, and much more.
Will there be a second date after the first? The question is rhetorical. It all depends on how suitable you are for each other. And besides, according to psychologists, it depends on how skillfully you use your capabilities. This material contains recommendations that will help make a second date more likely, even if not everything or almost everything on the first date did not go as you planned.
Experts at The School of Life explain that seduction in the broadest sense is the awakening of reciprocal interest in a person who is interesting to you. In order to master, you need to do only two things: establish a relationship with yourself and show your sincere interest in the inner qualities of your interlocutor.
So, you should start with the first one. A person who, as they say, is at peace with himself, knows his strengths and weak sides. That is why he does not see anything terrible in weaknesses, and therefore does not consider it necessary to hide them. Surveys from The School of Life found that it's "extremely tempting" for a person to admit, "You know, I'm a little nervous, but that's only because I really like you." Sincerely? Oh yeah. But, in addition to this, it is also witty.
The second point is interest not in the external, but in the internal. Experts in the field of relationship psychology do not advise “getting into the soul” of your interlocutor, especially if you don’t know each other well enough yet. Some people might like this, but most people will be turned off by this behavior, causing them to retreat into their shell, so... effective communication there will be no question.
It’s another thing when, after talking about a traumatic experience that a person had to face, you say: “I can’t imagine how hard it was for you at that moment. But it’s great that you managed to cope with it.” Thus, the interlocutor will understand that you are really interested in everything that happened and is happening to him. And this is a step on the way.
In conclusion, keep these tips in mind, but don't follow them religiously. Why? A 2006 study cited by Medical Daily found that people who studied "success scripts" before a first date and tried to stick to them were less likely to date. Because the main principle of a successful date is simple, like everything ingenious - remain yourself.
Many of the tips we talk about in this article apply not only to the first meeting, but to all dates in general. But on a first date they will be especially useful. Taking them into account, your first date will definitely go off with a bang and lead to a second no less pleasant meeting.
Take the initiative
Women prefer men they can rely on, that is, pack leaders who know how to make decisions clearly and without delay.
A man can listen to a girl’s wishes, but, as a rule, they can be quite vague and he will have to make a choice on his own.
There is no need to unnecessarily inquire where she would like to go; women may react to this, say, not entirely positively. Believe me, if a woman wants to go to a specific place, she will definitely say so or give very clear hints.
Act confident
Women have a very well developed sixth sense and powers of observation. We can say that often they really see right through men. There is nothing wrong with this, this is their mechanism for choosing the best male.
One of the most important qualities What women value in men is self-confidence. If a man is not confident in himself, a woman will definitely feel it. In this case, she will either be disappointed in him, or, if she likes him very much, she will play along and go to the meeting.
Become a source of positive emotions
Positive emotions are the basis. Women are very emotional creatures and your job is to create maximum quantity a variety of positive emotions.
Be original and go backwards. Most girls are invited to a cafe, but you invite her to go to the theater or an exhibition. For greater effect, study the theme of the exhibition, Interesting Facts and stories related to this topic. Any girl will highly appreciate your erudition.
An awkward silence
Sometimes there is a pause in a conversation, which is also called awkward silence. As a rule, this happens when the interlocutors are unable to continue the conversation. Often, young people try to fill the pause and start a new conversation by asking questions non-stop, which begins to resemble an interrogation, which annoys absolutely all girls.
In fact, there is no such thing as “awkward silence.” There is silence and separately awkwardness.
The awkwardness is up to you. When there is a pause in the conversation, the girl will look at you to understand what is happening, if she sees your excitement and attempts to come up with a stupid question to continue the dialogue - this is bad.
And if she sees that you are silent and enjoying what is happening, be it a walk or hot coffee, she will understand that there are no problems or reasons for worry. This will be further proof that you are in control of the situation. And if she previously experienced slight awkwardness, she will get rid of it.
Be interested in her inner world
You should not ask primitive questions about what music she prefers, what films she watches, and the like. By asking a few general questions, you can get an idea of what she does and what really interests her.
And based on this knowledge, ask questions and develop the topic. You will discover her inner world more and more.
Such behavior will arouse strong sympathy, because it is very rare that anyone is interested in what her thoughts are really occupied with.
Don't rush things
Calm, just calm. This is the best advice for a first date.
Nowadays, when everything happens very quickly, everyone tries to get a girl into bed 20 minutes after the first cup of coffee. Let's put it briefly, if you hold out without it for a couple of days, she will drag you into bed herself.
Just enjoy communicating with a beautiful girl.
Kiss
One of the reasons people still risk first date shock is the chance to enjoy that first kiss when saying goodbye at the door.
© “Sex and the City”
There is no need to rush into a kiss. He does not have to be on the first date, especially if the girl is not ready for him, you will find yourself in a stupid situation.
Remember, when a girl wants to kiss a man, this is quite easily visible in her behavior. This happens unconsciously, and you need to be able to notice it.
This can manifest itself in different ways, but there are also common signs that are characteristic of most girls. For example, almost all girls gradually reduce the distance. If, when saying goodbye, you stand very close to each other, this means that the girl let you into her personal zone, her comfort zone.
Of course, in addition to the distance, you should pay attention to other factors: its emotional condition, direction of gaze, breathing and so on.
The main thing is to take your time and you will feel it all. Yes, and it’s not a bad idea to trouble the girl once again.
When the guy you like invites you for a walk, the pleasant excitement knows no bounds. You worry about what to wear, how to please him and what to talk about on the first date... In fact, the future of your relationship will depend on the conversation. And here you need not to miss a single nuance, behave correctly and tactfully. Many girls behave this way intuitively, having no knowledge about correct behavior. But not everyone has such abilities, so let's take a closer look at how to behave on a first date with a man. Let's first consider what not to do:
1. Do not be silent. This is generally the most common mistake of girls who want. Guys don't like girls who are reserved and uncommunicative, and even if you're not like that, he'll get the wrong impression about you. The conversation must be maintained and it must be done. The only exception is if you don't like the guy at all, but then you can just leave instead of being silent all evening.
2. Don't take the initiative. After all, he is a man, so let him look for topics for conversation. Of course, you can also start a topic sometimes, but don’t do it all the time. Give him the opportunity to lead, and you be a follower, like in a dance.
3. Not a chatterer. Some girls tend to speak very quickly, especially when they are nervous. If this applies to you, then you just need to watch yourself, that is, consciously speak at a normal pace.
Now let's get back to the main question, How to behave on a first date with a man?
Well, firstly, show more interest in his personality, ask him about himself. And listen with obvious interest. Then by half this you will already conquer him. Why? Because a person is always disposed towards someone who is interested in his personality, who is interested in him.
Secondly, find out about him what is important to you in guys. For example, if you think that your chosen one should not smoke, drink alcohol or cheat on you with other girls, try to find out what the guy thinks about this. For me, for example, it was always important that a guy be purposeful and not lazy, so one day on a date I asked my boyfriend what he wanted to do after graduation. He then said that he didn’t want to strain himself too much, the main thing for him was that no one bothered him, he would get a job on the minimum wage and live in peace. Then I was simply not interested in communicating anymore, since I knew for sure that I did not want to marry such an inert person. Even if I liked him. Each girl will have her own mandatory criterion, so try to find out for yourself whether this guy you met meets your requirements.
Well thirdly, don’t say a word about how you want Serious relationships or get married. This, as a rule, scares girls away from guys, even if they themselves are serious. Be light, cheerful, “no worries.” And then the date will be successful. I hope I answered your question, how to behave on a first date with a man? Good luck!
