New Year's crafts

You need to do to be a good friend. How to be a good friend. Focus on quality rather than quantity

Useful tips

Do you have friends or at least one friend? Then you are very happy man. And let it seem to you that having friends - it's absolutely natural; in fact this is far from the case. Otherwise, where would people come from who have no friends at all?

We must call a spade a spade - even if it is difficult. Because it is not so important how exactly your friend reacts at the moment - but if he a true friend, then such a person should appreciate the fact that you are honest with him.

Encourage your friend


Encouragement and encouragement are some of the the most important moments, which will help you become a true friend and see such friends near you. No matter how lousy your mood is - a true friend will always let you know that you are special and that everything will be OK.

A true friend will always support you on your path, giving you the strength to realize that you can overcome this path. A true friend will never stop supporting and encouraging you even if you have reached your goal; rather, it will help you find your next goal!

We must not only take, but also give


As in any other relationship (for example, business or love), it is impossible to just constantly take. To become a good friend, you need to learn to give your friend what he needs. (your time, truthful word, provide other support).

Moreover, you should also learn to accept what your friend gives you in return. Don't demand too much by implying that you gave more. But it's worth keeping a balance in these things to show that you respect your friend and appreciate his attention.

Get over yourself sometimes


From time to time, in relationships between friends, someone may feel like they are being taken advantage of. This is an unpleasant moment. But don't go crazy! Even if this is the case, make an effort to remain friends for as long as possible.

Perhaps now your friendship is in such a period, when you can give more to your friend. Perhaps after a while you will switch roles. Believe me, this is the least you can do, and therefore always stay in touch - a true friend will do so.

Strong friendship

Respect what makes you different from each other


There is no doubt that the best relationships are built on mutual interest. However, being a good friend means respecting the line where your mutual interests end. To maintain friendly relations, we must learn to recognize this boundary in time.

In fact, the strongest relationships are between those people who are slightly different from each other in terms of certain interests. It is worth respecting these differences (even radical ones), as they help friends develop and complement each other.

Don't take friendship for granted


It doesn't matter how long you've been friends. It also doesn't matter how strong you think your friendship is. You should never take such relationships for granted, something you got for absolutely nothing.

History knows great amount cases when the strongest friendships fell apart for the most insignificant reasons. Do not allow yourself to underestimate friendship, because it is a real value and your wealth that should be protected.

Don't judge


When people start judging each other, that's when true friendship ends. Of course, as was said earlier, true friends are free (indeed, even must) to tell the truth to each other, it cannot be otherwise.

However Do not confuse sincerity with the desire to condemn your friend for some action or spoken word. Also avoid comparisons - and especially God forbid you express yourself in such a way that someone is a better friend! Be wiser.

Selfless friendship

Try to focus on positive things


And again we return to the fact that true friends should try to tell each other the truth. The fact is that finding flaws and pointing them out is the easiest thing to do. However, the secret true friendship is to look for positive moments and encourage them.

Maintaining strong friendships is not easy, especially as you grow older. If you want to become a better friend, find opportunities to talk with friends about life events and time to meet. One of the key aspects of deep friendships is the ability to support your friends and remember mutual respect in conflict situations.

Steps

How to develop friendship

  1. Find opportunities to communicate as often as possible. Communication is an important component of friendships. Try to call each other and discuss everything in the world at least once a week or two weeks! Talk about life events, discuss common interests and arrange meetings.

    • Even if everyone is very busy, find opportunities to talk or exchange messages throughout the week. This way you will maintain close relationships even if it is impossible to see each other often.
    • Reassure your friend that you are always there and ready to help, even if there is not always an opportunity to meet or talk.
  2. Try new things together. If you have always wanted to see Baikal or just go to a new cafe, then include friends in your plans. New experiences shared will become memories and topics for discussion.

    • If you want to find yourself in a new situation together, you can plan a trip or simply cook a new dish.
    • You can sign up for painting or pottery courses together.
  3. Give to friends small gifts or do favors. Your attentiveness will help you get closer. If you come across something that a friend will probably like. and you can afford it, then such a gift will show your care. There is no need to look for special reasons for kind and caring deeds.

    • For example, if a friend is sick, then go visit him with chicken broth and medicine.
    • If your friend likes to knit, then you can buy her a skein of yarn in a beautiful color or new knitting needles.
    • If you want to help, but don't have any spare money, offer to look after a friend's pet while he's away or help with housework. Just make your friend's life easier and completely free!
  4. Support each other in difficult situations. Friends are people you can rely on and trust in almost everything. If one of you is in difficult situation, sometimes it is useful to discuss what is happening. In many cases you will be able to offer useful advice each other. Show your friend that he can count on you not only in moments of joy.

    • You won't always have ready-made solutions, but simply listening to your friend while she tells you what happened is enough. Even talking can bring relief.
    • If you are aware of the situation, then periodically take an interest in your friend’s affairs or arrange meetings to cheer him up. For example, you could host a night of your friend’s favorite movies and video games!
    • Maintain boundaries even in difficult times. For example, if a friend needs money, but you are not ready to help him financially, then it is better to respect such a boundary, otherwise hostility may arise between you in the future. Supporting a friend does not mean solving all his problems.
  5. Share personal stories. It's not easy, but it's important for friends to share their fears, shortcomings, and concerns with each other. Such conversations help to better understand each other and strengthen relationships.

    Be sincere with your friends. Sincerity and reliability are the most important qualities of a good friend. Always tell your friends the truth, even when it's difficult. Try to tell the truth as gently and respectfully as possible, and also not in front of strangers.

    • For example, if a friend is quarreling with your mutual friend and spreading gossip about her, then you should calmly discuss the situation.
    • In this case, you can say: “I know that you are not on good terms with Jeanne right now, but I think that you should not tell her secrets to other people. I don’t want to interfere in your quarrel, but it seems to me that you will regret such an action.”
    • Lying and hiding facts from friends is wrong. If you believe that it is better for you to remain silent about your actions, then there is a possibility that such actions will be harmful to you or to others.
  6. Ask your friends questions about their lives and thoughts. It's always tempting to only discuss your life and problems because it's important to you, but don't forget to be interested in the lives of your friends! Ask about work, study, hobbies. Ask for their opinions on current events or future plans.

    • For example, if a friend signed up for a football club, then ask: “How was the training? How do you like the new team?
    • If a friend is planning to go to university, then you can ask: “Are you already preparing? Do you need any help before your exams?”
  7. Listen carefully to your friends. After the question, focus all your attention on your friend's answer. If necessary, respond and ask clarifying questions. Don't express your opinion about the situation until your friend finishes talking.

    • If you frequently interrupt your friend, try waiting an extra 5-10 seconds before you say anything. Many people don't realize they're interrupting others, so waiting will give your friend a chance to finish his thought.
    • When speaking face to face, maintain eye contact and avoid distractions. For example, don't play on your phone while talking to a friend.
  8. Be confident in yourself and your friendships. Sometimes close relationships can cause jealousy or insecurity. Remember that you are friends for a reason, and you are a good friend.

    • There is no need to be jealous if your friend wants to meet other people. It may seem like she's not favoring you, but a person can't always only communicate with you.
    • If you are unsure, it is better to talk about your feelings with a friend and find a common solution.
    • For example, if a friend says: “I think Auchan is closed now,” and you know the opening hours, then you can say: “Let’s check the website. It seems to me that they have extended the opening hours!”
  9. Be kind and polite to your friends. Borders are part of any healthy relationships, so it's always important to keep your friends' likes and dislikes in mind. You should never intentionally upset or embarrass them.

    • For example, if you want to go to a party but your friend doesn't want to go, be respectful and don't force him to agree with you.
    • Never call each other names, even as a joke.
  10. Don't tell your friends' secrets to anyone. If a friend has shared personal or sensitive information with you, don't tell anyone without their permission. Otherwise, rumors will arise that may hurt your friend. Show yourself as a loyal and reliable friend who can keep secrets and not give in to temptation.

    • However, if you think your friend is in danger or may harm himself, please notify doctors or the law immediately for his safety. It may look like a betrayal, but human life and health are more important.
    • It may seem like gossip will bring you closer to other people, but in reality such closeness comes at the cost of other people's happiness, so never talk about people behind their back.

How to resolve conflicts

  1. Trust that your friend has the best intentions. In moments of quarrel, it often seems that your friend is simply trying to upset you. It's important to remember that he knows you better than other people. If he doesn’t like your action, then he’s probably worried and wants to protect you.

    • In conflicts, it is important to show empathy. Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes to see the situation through their eyes. Perhaps you will understand his motives.
    • Remind yourself that you certainly will not remain silent in a situation where a friend’s action goes against your beliefs.
  2. Tell your friends how you feel. When you're ready to discuss a fight, start with your feelings. This will help you focus on the current problem and not return to old painful issues.

    • Formulate your statements in the first person: “I get upset when you talk about my shortcomings in the presence of strangers,” or: “I’m offended that you and your friends got together without me.”
    • Try not to start phrases with the word “you”, like: “You discussed me behind my back, and this is very ugly.”
    • In case of disagreement, you can consider that you are now opposing each other. Instead, try to imagine that you are fighting a problem together. Discuss your current feelings, exchange ideas for solving the problem in order to choose a common strategy.
      • For example, if you and a friend like the same girl, you can suggest: “I think it’s better for neither of us to date her. This way we will maintain our friendship and not compete with each other over the girl.”
      • If you cannot choose one solution, then try combining 2-3 joint options.
      • A few weeks after using the joint solution, you should discuss how effective it was. Make changes if necessary or find a new solution.
  • Always be yourself and don't be ashamed of yourself. If a person judges you as a person, then he cannot be called a good friend.

Warnings

  • Respect your friends' personal boundaries. If they need to be alone, then there is no need to call or write dozens of messages. Such obsession can ruin a relationship.
  • If one of your friends is experiencing symptoms of depression, talk about what's going on. If you suspect a danger to a friend or others, contact law enforcement immediately. This may seem like a tough decision, but sometimes you need to protect your friend and others.

You only have many friends in childhood and adolescence. The older a person gets, the fewer friends he has. There are many reasons for this, but the main thing is not to lose all your friends and learn to be a good and reliable friend yourself. How to do it? Here are 10 rules that will help you become the best friend in the world.

Be faithful
Friendship and betrayal are two incompatible concepts. Betraying friends is a low act that has no justification.
Take time
You are close people, at least occasionally share your leisure time. It doesn’t have to be often, but there should be a connection between you. Let it be in the form of going to football, getting together once a month, sharing a hobby or traveling.
Don't use your friends for personal gain
You are not friends for the sake of PR, material gain or new position. Friendship connects hearts. If you maintain a relationship with a person for selfish reasons, then you are worthless.
Remember birthdays
Congratulating a friend (friend) is a sacred thing. If your memory is leaky, set a reminder in your phone. This way you won’t miss an important event and will be able to congratulate your friend, even if you are on different continents.
Jealousy kills friendship
When your best friend gets married (or a friend gets married), you shouldn’t be jealous of his family or give him ultimatums or tease him. Don't force anyone to choose between you and your family. Try to become a friend to the whole family, including children. Then you will always be a welcome guest and a reliable friend.
Help in any circumstances
A faithful friend or girlfriend will not leave you in trouble, will lend a helping hand and will not look for excuses. He will simply come at any time of the day or night and help. At least a kind word.
Someone else's love is taboo
Don't date your friend's ex or steal your friend's boyfriend. It is not right. This situation doesn't look good. It will be unpleasant for your boyfriend or girlfriend to see you together. This is not friendly.
Be honest
Friends are people who can tell the truth to your face and still maintain a great relationship. You can honestly express your opinion and not be a hypocrite.
Learn to keep secrets
Become the most reliable safe in the world. A friend can frankly say anything, hoping for understanding and support. Your task is to keep the secret, no matter how juicy it may be.
Respect your friend's personal space
He (she) may have things that he does not want to discuss. You don't need to be a sticky fish who wants to know everything. There are aspects of life that a friend has the right to keep secret.
Important!
Being a good friend is not an easy task. But everything will come back a hundredfold. True friends are valued and respected. You won't be alone. There will always be someone who will listen, support and understand.

Knowing what a good friend is and trying to meet his criteria is The best way to find and keep good friends. And close friends give us a strong sense of emotional security, which increases life expectancy, scientists are sure.

Friendship and health - is there a connection?

Those who are surrounded by good friends live longer, scientists say. It's all about the feeling of emotional security and warmth that friends give us. If you have at least one close friend, life seems happier and your ability to cope with stress and problems increases. Surprisingly, even having a good intimate partner does not provide the same physical and emotional health benefits that friendship provides. Good friends provide more support than lovers, siblings, parents or children. Good friends provide different levels of understanding and communication that positively impact our well-being and sense of self.

Emotional Health Benefits of Friendship

  • Laboratory studies showed that hamsters with skin wounds that were caged with other hamsters recovered faster than those that were alone. The hamsters in the company also produced less cortisol in their bodies, a stress hormone that affects Negative influence on mood and immunity. You are certainly not a hamster. But scientists are confident that the same conclusions can be applied to human friendship. Whether you are depressed, recovering from an illness, or experiencing stress, you will recover and recover much faster if you have good soul friends nearby.
  • Scientists haven't figured out exactly how yet, but having good friends can even improve the health of our immune system. Good friends help you relax, gain hope and faith in the future, and the feeling that everything will be okay. Friends give emotional comfort and a good mood.
  • Strong support is not only about emotions and feelings. Moral support also means a lot. Simply put, when a friend accompanies you to a doctor's appointment or medical procedure, your blood pressure and heart rate even decrease, doctors say. Without strong social connections or friends, you are more likely to experience negative emotions and get sick than usual.

However, in order to always be surrounded by friends, you need to become a good friend yourself.

How to be a good friend

Spend time together. If due to lack of time you cannot often go for walks with a friend, then at least call or write to him regularly. Conversations don't have to be long. Even a short and friendly SMS message can sometimes do a lot to keep you connected. Set your priorities. We all always have a lot of things to do. Maybe you "should" clean the house, wash the dog, cook dinner, or watch TV (some people feel like they have to do this!). However, try to set your priorities. Communication with a friend should become much more important to you than household duties. Be with friends in both good and bad moments of life. Funeral of relatives and daughter's wedding, surgery or celebration - always be close to your friends. Share the joy with them and lend your shoulder in difficult times. Be sincerely happy for your friend and worry about him in difficult moments.

Don't keep score. Who should call this time? Which of you paid for a taxi last time? Who spent the most on new Year gifts? Who cares? If the friendship is truly strong, such things don't matter much. You are not competitors on the sports field. Focus on the positive aspects of your friend. We all have our own “cockroaches” - quirks and weaknesses. Focus on strengths your friend and his wonderful qualities. To be a good friend, you need to be able to forget about the things in which you and your friend are different and focus on what is common.