We are surrounded large quantity people: at work, on the streets, in shops. At the same time, it often happens that we feel lonely. Despite the impressive number of acquaintances, there is no one to call in the evening and discuss the day or the problem that has arisen. But this does not happen to those who have a close friend.
A close friend knows almost everything about you, he is close to you right moment, and you are frank with each other. Acquaintances are friends with whom it is interesting to discuss new events, go to the movies or a bar, or chat about anything. Often, when you meet a new person, it seems that over time he becomes a friend. But this feeling is deceptive. After all, true friendship is tested over years and life situations, and not through a few conversations on general topics. You can spend time together, share your experiences and discuss a new novel or your beloved children and husband. But there comes a time when troubles come into your life, and the expression “a friend in need” becomes relevant. A simple acquaintance who was interested in you does not need unnecessary problems. There are enough of our own. He is looking for excuses and excuses to communicate less with you. Having dealt with the situation, you call him again and in a cheerful voice offer to go shopping and drink a glass of wine. Miraculously, he again has the time and desire to communicate with you. Sadly, there are many more people like this in your life than those who are there when you need support.
No matter how trite it sounds, friendship is tested in stressful and unpleasant situations. Here are a few questions to help you figure it out: a true friend nearby or not:
- How does he communicate with you? Does it encourage you, give you compliments, or does it make you feel unwanted and worthless, especially when something good happens in life?
- Can he listen? Does your friend get bored, yawn, or grab the phone when you talk about your problems or simple stories from life? Or is he always running out of time? Or does he happily talk for hours about himself, his beloved, without letting you get a word in? Most likely, you should not expect sincere friendship from this person.
- Is your friend gossiping or not? If he is discussing other acquaintances, as soon as they turn away, then perhaps you too will come under fire as soon as you leave the room. This already leads to the conclusion - next good friend or another acquaintance.
True friendship is a rare and valuable gift. In most cases, it is born in childhood or adolescence when we are sincere and frank. Carrying friendship through your entire life is difficult, but true feelings survive in any life situations. Even if communication stops for a while, we continue to feel that it is... dear person, which is missing in life. And over time we return to this friendship, forgiving insults and forgetting omissions.
The rest leave our lives over time, making room for new acquaintances, with whom at a given period of life it will be easy, simple and fun. Such relationships are superficial and bring temporary pleasure. Friendship is a deep feeling and hard work, and you need to appreciate true friends without betraying or forgetting. That's why there are never too many real friends. One close friend is good. Two is happiness. Three is a rare gift that is given only to a select few.
You have a friend you don't see for a long time, and then he suddenly calls you, and not just like that, but because he needs something from you? Well, congratulations, you have your own pseudo-friend. Unfortunately, such friends exist. Sometimes you count on a person, trust him, telling him some innermost secrets, and he “stabs a knife in your back.” Alas, no one is immune from betrayal.
So how can you tell a real friend from a false friend?
So, the first thing that distinguishes a real friend from a fake one is the ability to forgive and make peace. We all make mistakes, that’s how people are made, a real friend will understand and forgive, a pseudo-friend will not only not forgive, he will never forget your “mistake” and will use it in the future as a method of manipulation. A fake friend will masterfully play the role of the offended one, thereby awakening in you a feeling of guilt and responsibility towards him. A person who feels guilty is unable to refuse a request. And if you do not intend to accept the draft mule philosophy, immediately cut this person out of your life.
Friends forever or “friend for an hour”?
How often does your friend communicate with you? There are a lot of people around with whom you can have a good time, but he still chooses you because you are more interesting? Most likely this person really is your friend. A deceitful friend will communicate with you only because there is no choice, and as soon as suitable company appears, he will leave you without a second thought.
On one side.
No matter what happens, a true friend will always be by your side. In any conflict and in any situation (without fanaticism), your friend will experience the same emotions and feelings about the situation that has arisen. He will never try to convince you that someone on the other side may be right. Real, devoted friends like relatives, no matter how much they judge you, if you get into trouble they will stand up for you, no matter what.
You promised - keep it!
For true friends, words are not an empty phrase. They always keep their word and deliver on their promises. Of course, we are all not without sin. There are situations beyond a person’s control and this is worth taking into account. There is no need to judge rashly. One can doubt a friend only if the promise was not fulfilled without objective reasons and not for the first time.
Friendship for fun.
For a true friend, you yourself are important, not your help. Friendship for friendship's sake, not friendship for profit.
A true friend appreciates you for who you are.
A true friend doesn't need to be impressed by showing off expensive gadgets or a beautiful girlfriend. Such boasting cannot be called friendship.
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
A true friend is always ready to lend his shoulder, back, arm, leg, whatever you need. At the same time, without expecting anything in return for the service provided.
A friend helps a friend simply to help, and not in order to get a debtor, who, if something happens, can be called for help and he cannot refuse.
Sometimes it is difficult to understand how sincere a friend is in his feelings. If you trust the wrong person, you can suffer greatly. Fake friends can seriously ruin your life. A lot depends on who you communicate with!
Here are 10 signs that will help you distinguish a real friend from an imaginary one.
1. A true friend respects you
No matter the situation, your true friend will never humiliate or insult you. Even if there are differences between you, he will respect you as himself. True friends may not agree with each other, but there is genuine trust between them.
Fake friends can get really angry with you. They may use hurtful words or even physically assault you. They don't care about you, so they don't feel like you're hurting.
2. A true friend accepts you no matter what.
A true friend cares about your happiness and well-being. He doesn't care what clothes you wear. He is not annoyed by your loud laughter. He simply accepts and loves you anyway.
Fake friends behave completely differently. They will always remind you of your shortcomings and demand that you behave more “normally.” Never listen to these people!
3. A true friend will always have time for you.
Even if a true friend only has an hour between work and the gym, he is always ready to meet, even if only for a short time. After all, he sincerely wants to see you! True friends care how you are doing. That's why they often write or call you.
But fake friends remember you only when they need something. They can talk very nicely, but remember that they always have a selfish interest. And, if suddenly you fail to help your fake friend, he will be very angry.
4. You can discuss anything with a true friend.
Argue with smart person can be fun, especially when done right! With a true friend you can discuss the most different topics, realizing that it gives you a fresh perspective on familiar things.
But fake friends constantly get personal in arguments. In addition, they are not ready to lose to you, so they will do everything possible to leave you in the cold.
5. A true friend knows how to keep secrets.
You can trust a true friend with any secret without fear that tomorrow everyone will know about it. He respects you, so only you two will know about your secret.
Fake friends will treat your confession as something trivial and insignificant. And sometimes they will even embellish your secret in a conversation with mutual friends!
6. A true friend forgives you everything
We all want to fool around sometimes. Or even do something not very good. A true friend not only loves you, but also your stupidity. True friends know that no one is perfect and they accept that. Moreover, sometimes you will do stupid things together while having great fun!
With fake friends, it can cost you your friendship. They are unlikely to forgive you because they are not going to correct your mistakes.
7. A true friend will always be on your side.
It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong, a true friend will be on your side. He will always support you and help you in any situation, without even asking what the matter is.
Fake friends are absolutely not ready to go against the whole world for you.
8. A true friend respects your right to privacy.
Real friends understand that you don't always have time for them. Plus, they won't judge you if you don't want to share your personal experiences.
Fake friends don't understand that you have your own life and responsibilities. They are very selfish and take up a lot of your time.
9. A true friend rejoices at your successes.
True friends are ready to share your joy and happiness. They will go out to celebrate your victory, even though they have to get up early the next day!
Fake friends are very jealous of your success. When something good happens to you, they try to get the same for themselves or devalue your achievements. They won't survive if you are more successful than them!
10. A true friend helps you become a better person.
True friends believe in your talent and are ready to support you in all your endeavors. Such friendship changes not only you, but also your future for the better!
Fake friends are interested in you standing still, because in this case you are much easier to manipulate. Moreover, they will be happy to pull you along with them to the very bottom!
If you learn to analyze people's behavior, you will quickly understand who your real friends are. Imaginary friends usually say more than they do. Don't give them a second chance because they will never change. Try to stay away from such people!
Elena Saykovskaya
11.11.2014 | 1513
True friendship is rare, especially among women. A friend's assessment and opinion are very important to us. However, sometimes it happens that such friendship only brings disappointment. Maybe your girlfriend is not real?
Why are we friends?
A friend is an integral part of the life of almost every woman. A specific feature of female nature is the need to throw out her emotions. There are certain things that men should not know, and a girlfriend is the person we can trust with all our innermost thoughts and doubts.
At first glance, female friendship is a “unity of souls”, which is based only on gossip, joint shopping, common hobbies and a similar approach to life. But in fact, its main component is the opportunity to talk to someone about painful issues.
Friendship allows us to maintain inner balance and feel safer amid the vicissitudes of fate: after all, we can turn to a friend for help at any time of the day or night. Friendship also makes us feel needed, appreciated, and important in someone's life.
The Problem of True Friendship
Sometimes a problem arises in relationships between friends when the worldview of one of them changes radically. For example, due to a change in job, environment or company of friends.
If friends have the same approach to life, then there is harmony in their relationship. But, unfortunately, this is rare. Reality shows that usually female friendship consists of a dominant personality and the so-called “gray mouse”.
This has its advantages: both friends in such a relationship learn something from each other. It is much worse if this friendship is not entirely sincere.
Fake friendship
Pseudo-friendship can be based on two elements.
1. Rejection– arises, for example, due to any changes in the life of one of the female representatives. The most popular reason for rejection is marriage.
It may turn out that our friend does not like this way of life. She feels unwanted and like a teddy bear who is only hugged when she feels bad. As a result, a friend may become distrustful, touchy and angry.
2. Envy. Such a pseudo-friend, like energetic vampire, feeds on our energy. This person takes an active part in our lives, has a strong influence on our decisions and actions, friends, family, beloved man, and secretly manipulates them.
However, in such a situation, we often refuse to take off our “rose-colored glasses” and are unable or unwilling to end this relationship, because we are afraid of losing our only soul mate, even if it is not a real one.
How to deal with a fake girlfriend?
To end a pseudo-friendship, you will need good motivation and self-confidence. Relationships where one person gives and the other takes are often difficult to end due to feelings, since the fear of offending someone is sometimes much stronger than one’s own needs.
So instead of saying no, we dive deeper into this unnecessary relationship. We suppress our own feelings and desires in order to meet our friend’s expectations, and we always count on revenge.
However, if we want to maintain our self-esteem, we must carefully observe our friend’s behavior and promptly tell her our comments about her behavior. If there is no positive reaction, it is better to end such a friendship immediately, because nothing good will come from such a relationship.
Every encounter should provide us with comfort and self-esteem. Therefore, we try to give ourselves as much as possible and expect the same from our friend. But this doesn't always happen. Some people are accustomed to taking, but not giving anything in return.
We shouldn’t accumulate negativity within ourselves, waiting for the right moment when we can tell our friend what we don’t like about her behavior. Most likely, the right moment will not come, and even if it does come, it will only bring negative emotions, feelings of guilt and mutual reproaches.
If we want to save this relationship, we must be sincere with each other and immediately express our dissatisfaction. One straight Talk can finally reconcile even those friends who have already despaired of continuing their friendship.
Based on materials from the website www.polki.pl
Friendship is one of the best things in our life. However, not all friends are the same - sometimes it is very difficult to distinguish the real one from the fake one. But in fact the difference between them is huge. So, you can always rely on a true friend and turn to him for any reason. You know for sure that he will always be on your side, regardless of the situation. You cannot rely on fake friends. Use this guide to find out who your true friend really is.
Support in everything
A true friend will always support you in your endeavors. Whether it's waltz lessons, the desire to change jobs or something else, he will always be there for you.
Crazy things
We all do stupid and funny things sometimes. Real friends adore you for this! In addition, they will probably always be willing to join you and fool around together.
Sorry for everything
Sometimes we make mistakes and we can ruin everything. Fake friends most likely will not forgive you for such mistakes. But a true friend knows that this can happen to anyone. He will probably forgive you, because you are truly important to him.
Always by your side
Regardless of the situation, a true friend will always be on your side. He will not ask you unnecessary questions, but will simply offer his support. 
Encourages your development
We all grow as individuals, discover something new for ourselves, and acquire new interests. Fake friends in this case will laugh at your attempts, unlike real ones, who will only motivate you to move forward and develop.
Aware of your quirks
Each of us has little quirks: we are capricious in the morning, we start flirting when we drink too much, we eat too much at dinner, etc. But only real friends know such details about us.
Constant contact
Fake friends will only communicate with you when they need something or want to know some gossip. True friends will always keep in touch with you, no matter where you are. After all, they are actually interested in what is happening in your life. They don't just want the latest gossip about your relationship. Moreover, real friends will even be interested to know what you had for lunch today.
Ability to keep secrets
If you can trust someone with your innermost secret, being sure that no one else will know about it, then this is your true friend. Fake friends don't know how to keep other people's secrets. But a true friend values your trust and will not tell anyone what you told him about. 
No need to dress up to impress
If you don't have to dress nice, do your hair, or make sure you smell nice, then you have real friends. After all, they won’t be particularly worried if you appear before them in tracksuit and with unwashed hair. The worst thing they can do is make a couple of jokes at your expense. But they don't really care. After all, a true friend just wants to spend time in your company.
They find time for you
It doesn't matter that your friend only has an hour after work before language school starts, he will always be ready to have a cup of tea with you. True friends will always be able to find time to see and chat with you.
A vest to cry on
The big difference between real and fake friends is how they react to your ups and downs. So, if you're feeling down, a fake friend will tap you on the shoulder and encourage you to change the subject. But a true friend will simply hug you and allow you to have a good cry and vent, even if it takes all night. He will always be with you no matter whether you are happy or sad.
