Elena Silchenkova, HR Director of Osram, Moscow
In this article you will read
- Why conflicts arise with colleagues
- What to do if the team is against you
- Resolving Conflicts at Work: 5 Techniques
First we need to figure out why conflicts with colleagues: why the team is opposed to you, why the team can be against the manager, why a specialist criticizes his superior and vice versa. The most common reason is unfulfilled ambitions. Colleagues may feel that your abilities are overestimated, and a conflict may arise over the promotion. The unsatisfied ambitions of colleagues can prompt them to turn the team against the manager and try to discredit the head of the department in the eyes of subordinates. Another possible reason is an unmet need for communication: a person wants to be the center of attention.
Conflicts with colleagues: how to resolve
In this situation, you can use several techniques.
Don't be confrontational. Resolving conflicts at work requires restraint and a competent approach. Under no circumstances should you succumb to provocations. You are in a less advantageous position compared to the troublemaker and the entire team. Employees will perceive your victory as injustice. This will adversely affect your status, and the rebellious colleague will acquire the aura of a martyr. At the same time, you also cannot lose in a confrontation situation: defeat poses a threat to your authority and competence.
- Conflicts between employees: why they arise and how to resolve them
Give your colleague the opportunity to express their opinion. Most likely, his judgment will reflect the accumulated claims of other employees, because before entering into a fight, a person enlists the support of those around him. However, if you do not prevent an employee from speaking out about what he is dissatisfied with, his constant critical attacks will soon begin to irritate the team. The same principle applies here as in public speaking: listeners will calmly react to the fact that the lecturer is interrupted once, but will start shushing if the same person interrupts the speaker more than once.
Admit your opponent is right. In front of the entire team, which is opposed to you, agreeing with the decision defended by the person criticizing you is a very good way out of the situation (just make sure that the planned actions do not contradict economic and legal norms). If an employee's proposal turns out to be ineffective, he will discredit himself in the eyes of the team. If, on the contrary, what he suggested will be beneficial, you will still be a winner: you were able to appreciate the idea of a competent colleague. This characterizes you as a leader and a good specialist.
Reception for managers: offer a specialist a promotion. This method is good if you are the boss and conflicts arise with colleagues. This is only worth doing if the employee is truly capable of occupying a higher position. Then he will realize his ambitions and at the same time the problems that worried him so much will lose their urgency for him.
Invite your colleague to replace you during your absence. It is possible that this will be quite enough to satisfy your colleague’s ambitions. After sitting in your chair, the specialist will either understand that your work is not entirely his business, or he will learn to be more tolerant of your decisions. If events unfold in such a way that the employee does not prove himself to be an effective specialist, he will lose authority and will not be able to enter into conflicts with colleagues in the future.
- The path to self-improvement: 15 rules of Albert Einstein
Reference
Osram
Field of activity: production of lighting products.
Form of organization: OJSC, part of the Siemens concern (division of industrial goods).
Territory: head office – in Munich (Germany); Russian divisions - a plant in Smolensk and a sales office in Moscow.
Number of personnel: about 1500 (in Russia).
Main clients: companies “Minimax”, “Russian Light”, “Eco-Trading”, ETM (professional lighting); Leroy Merlin, Magnit, Obi, IKEA, Metro Cash & Carry, X5 Retail Group (consumer lighting).
Life talked to Moscow employees who had been bullied by colleagues, and then, with the help of a psychologist, tried to figure out why this happens in the adult world.
The Invisible Chief
I faced psychological pressure when I started a new job as a deputy director. For reasons unknown to me, my immediate boss disliked me. Instead of helping me gain authority or simply not getting in the way, she began to turn the team against me. She shouted at me, including obscenely, in the presence of colleagues. And it is natural that I was soon faced with the reluctance of the team to communicate with me, gossip and gossip behind my back. Things got to the point where my subordinates refused to carry out my orders, ignored them or delayed deadlines. Subordination was broken. On my shift, bypassing me, the employee turned to the director to receive orders or clarify work issues, which I found out about much later, as a result of which I could not competently control the work. Also, at the request of my boss, in her absence, my subordinates reported to her about my actions, distorting the picture: for example, saying that I was chatting on the phone about non-work issues, while I was calling with suppliers. It turned out to be a vicious circle: the director turned the employees against me, the employees fueled her hostility towards me,” Marina complains. - The atmosphere at work was extremely tense and oppressive. I felt under close attention and at the same time “invisible” to the team. My attempts to influence the situation, to find a common language with my boss and colleagues were unsuccessful, and I had to write a letter of resignation.
"How dare you get pregnant"
I held a leadership position in the city perinatal center. When my boss found out that I was going to go on maternity leave, he started screaming like he had been bitten: “K How dare you get pregnant?! Who should I replace you with?!" By the way, it was not easy for me to get pregnant, and it would seem that the head of the perinatal center should understand such things, but that was not the case,” the doctor recalls. - For some time he calmed down, as I began to work without vacation or sick leave (although there were indications for health reasons). Then, with good wishes, he saw me off on maternity leave, having secured my promise that when I placed the child in kindergarten, I would immediately return to work. When it was time to leave maternity leave, I learned that I had been moved to another office - a closet under the stairs, in which medical waste had previously been stored. After some time, I got a conversation with my boss on this topic, who stated that he would not change anything, and I got this office as punishment for allegedly going on maternity leave with no plans to return. But then it got worse: p After this conversation, the computer was removed from my closet. And what shocked me most of all was that, as I learned, the employees, under pain of losing their bonus, were forbidden to even greet me, let alone talk to me. At least one colleague was actually deprived of a bonus for this. All these circumstances forced me to go on maternity leave again. I don't think I can go back to this job.
How to protect yourself from a pest colleague?
Professional psychologist and career consultant Veronica Turkina told what actions should be taken by those who are faced with bullying.
To work effectively, it is not at all necessary to have friendly relations with colleagues or your boss, but it is important to have a safe relationship, the specialist says. And security is formed by the rules of interaction. The best way out of a conflict or bullying situation may be the formation of such rules.
Determine your participation in the conflict
At first glance, it may seem that in a conflict there is an aggressor (or aggressors) and a victim. However, this is usually not entirely true. There are two sides to the conflict, and both are to some extent the aggressor. To end bullying, it is first important to understand what is my own fault, how I reject my colleagues, what my hidden aggression is expressed in and how I show it. Perhaps it manifests itself implicitly, but it is definitely there.
Make the conflict open
Hidden conflicts can mature and continue for a very long time, leading to devastating consequences for the participants. An open conflict cannot, by its nature, be protracted. If possible, try to identify one or more people who are the source of aggression against you. Try to talk with this person, find out what complaints he has against you. If the leader of the conflict group could not be identified or is unavailable to you for some reason, start with the one who is easiest for you to contact. Such a conversation might start like this: “It’s important for me to discuss our interactions,” “I’m worried that personal relationships may affect work,” “We’re working on a project together, and it’s important to me that we can find ways to interact despite our differences.” . Rely on what you obviously have in common, since you work in the same team. If the other party pretends that nothing is happening, provide the facts that cause your concern. An open conversation is the best way to stop behind-the-scenes games. And even if you don’t find a common language and don’t come out of such a conversation as friends, in any case, it will be difficult for you to cause harm on the sly.
Bring the problem to a formal level
When the problem is voiced, the parties to the conflict are announced, then even if we are talking about a boss and a subordinate, there is always the opportunity to turn to a third party and invite them to participate in resolving the conflict. This could be a higher-up boss or an employee from the HR department called upon to mediate conflicts. Don't be afraid to seem like a complainer or a sneak. Unconstructive relationships in a team undoubtedly have a negative impact on work results, lead to a decrease in motivation and interfere with the implementation of work procedures. Therefore, a boss at any level is very interested in ensuring that conflicts are brought to the surface and resolved.
What to do if suddenly everyone at work begins to hate you.
There is no place for collectivists on the African savannah. It is more convenient to act on the principle of “every man for himself”: there is less responsibility. And if they eat it, no one will regret it. Therefore, zoologists were very surprised when they encountered the phenomenon of mobbing: an attack by a group of animals on a lonely fellow. Psychologists were even more amazed when they learned that mobbing is also present in human society. Moreover, according to statistics, it occurs in every fifth team. Our task is to warn you and arm you with the latest methods of combating this phenomenon.
You gradually begin to get used to the fact that not everyone adores you immediately after parting with diapers. Slurred words, awkward steps and a naive smile are not enough to cause a general outburst of delight and tenderness. At first, toys, natural charm help, then a sense of humor, money and, finally, professional skills. Everything that allows you to find a common language with friends, colleagues and superiors.
This works with varying degrees of success, but the real surprise comes when even the most positive qualities and actions, instead of admiration, cause irritation and even hatred. It is quite possible that these are the first signs of mobing, or simply bullying. Its goal is to survive a person from the team, completely erasing him from the staffing table and the list of employees.
Occasion
To get on the list of enemies, you don’t have to spill carrot juice on a co-worker or trip him in the hallway. He will do everything necessary for you himself. He will look at your payroll to compare your salary with his, or he will hear you flirting with the secretary to whom he wanted to propose marriage. You can cross someone else's path by simply getting a position that one of the old-timers of the company has been counting on for a long time.
There is only one result: the offended person begins to hatch insidious plans for revenge. If he enjoys formal or informal authority in the team, the rest of his colleagues quickly unite around him, and revenge becomes everyone’s business.
Methodology
The imagination of Mobers is limited by the degree of their intellectual development. And, of course, official position.
It is not recommended to hire the general director of the company as the main spiteful critic: the persecution will be ridiculously short. The most common mobbing weapon is as banal as it is effective. This is gossip that is carefully cultivated and spread through curious ears. It is enough to appear in the office with circles under your eyes, and a rumor will immediately spread among your colleagues that you have been drinking for the fifth day, mixing single malt whiskey with Zhiguli beer.
If you drive up to the office in a new car, you will immediately be labeled as a bribe-taker and destined for a dizzying criminal career. Another option for mobbing is petty sabotage. It can be obvious - bent paper clips in a table, sharp buttons on a chair, or a virus launched into your computer. Hidden sabotage is the most dangerous. This is when you think that your instructions are being followed, but instead of results you get round eyes and complaints of multiple sclerosis and early Alzheimer's.
The mobsters will do everything to pin this miscalculation on you and report it to management. Even if you manage to prove your innocence, the residue will remain.
Bottom line
All these efforts will lead to the fact that any of your actions will be assessed negatively. Didn't stay after work? Does not care about the interests of the company. Remained? Can't cope with work during regular hours. In general, your every breath will be accompanied by criticism and minor quibbles, which will only grow over time. If you are mobbed, you will quickly find yourself in social isolation. Psychologists note that in such situations a person quickly loses his bearings and becomes increasingly helpless and insecure. Chronic stress and accompanying symptoms are formed - headache, insomnia, circulatory disorders, etc. At work, everything falls out of hand, any enthusiasm completely disappears.
As a result, it is easier to change jobs than to continue working in such conditions.
Actions
To clearly understand what you have to fight with, imagine that you are walking near a group of Spartak fans. At the same time, you are dressed in a red and blue color scheme. For the purity of the experiment, you can mentally shout: “CSKA is the champion.” You need to decide whether to run away or fight very quickly; fortunately, you only need to evaluate two things. First, your strengths: are you ready to fight alone against the team? Secondly, how much do you love and value your football team (or workplace): is it worth starting a war over?
If the answer to at least one of these questions is negative, the best option is to write a letter of resignation. It is unlikely that anyone will blame you for cowardice or lack of will for refusing to fight an aggressive crowd for an empty idea. If you are determined to fight, take our advice into account.
Get vindictive
If, with a sufficient level of anger, you complain about a bad memory, start writing down all the insults inflicted on you. Keep a diary for this purpose. So write: “Today at 11:24 Ivanov insidiously stepped on my foot, after which he laughed in my face. Bastard." German psychologists advise doing this.
Recorded attacks will help assess the strength of the opponents, understand who exactly belongs to them, what the role of each person involved is, and whether the attack can be called well-planned and systematic. In addition, having before your eyes the actual scheme of military operations, you will be able to develop a set of response measures.
Identify the instigator
Almost certainly the initiative comes (or originally came) from one person. Perhaps, even without analyzing your records, you will be able to identify him - most likely, this is the one with whom you have an unresolved conflict. Now is the time to try to establish contact with the ringleader and eliminate the quarrel. Perhaps a confidential or, conversely, tough conversation will help out. If the instigator is a truly authoritative person, the mobbing should come to naught.
Find the "weak link"
In ancient Roman stadiums, even after the most boring fights, there were citizens who raised their thumbs up out of a desire to save the lives of careless gladiators. Among your attacking colleagues, there will probably also be those who deep down sympathize with you and remain silent during the discussion of your new polka dot tie. By getting close to them, you will practically introduce a saboteur behind enemy lines. From now on, when talking about your odious person, sometimes approving voices will be heard.
Find fellow sufferers
It is likely that you are not the only one who is being mobbed in your friendly team. If one of your colleagues is also constantly forced to endure attacks and provocations from colleagues, you and he will probably have a couple of common topics of conversation. It is unlikely that you will be able to form an invincible alliance, but at least you will have a psychological outlet that will help you cope with other problems faster.
Eliminate errors at work
Even if the office has turned into a psychological battlefield for you, this does not mean that you need to forget about work. Your opponents are just waiting for you, carried away by the confrontation with them, to begin to ignore your immediate responsibilities. Believe me, run to your boss shouting: “Ivanov again failed to supply pumps to the regions!” - will be the greatest joy for them. It is clearly in your best interest to avoid this. Having started a war with colleagues who dislike you, work as if your life directly depends on it. By the way, in a sense this is true.
Appeal to the strong
Any competent manager understands that mobbing in his team is harmful to business. Naturally, he will try to prevent it. Therefore, after a particularly insidious provocation, do not hesitate to draw the boss’s attention to it. Most likely, he will intervene (unless, of course, he is the main mobster, although in this case you are already looking for a new job). And in general, since they are trying in every possible way to denigrate you in front of your superiors, at the first opportunity demonstrate your whiteness and fluffiness. But it is better to avoid retaliatory attacks towards colleagues - even in war, not all means are good.
Prevention
Having achieved a more or less high position, you actually exclude yourself from the number of potential targets of mobing. However, looking down on the mouse fuss of your subordinates is the worst thing a boss can do. Mobbing is detrimental to the team as a whole. Talking about work in conditions when most of the employees are busy spreading rumors and weaving intrigues is simply pointless. Therefore, to reduce or eliminate the likelihood of mobing in the team entrusted to you, take into account the following.
Get rid of thieves
If you can somehow influence the selection of personnel, introduce a strict taboo on hiring relatives and old friends of your employees. The presence of clans naturally leads to the emergence among them of a sense of their own elitism and impunity. Practice shows that it is among such harmonious “infighters” that Mober initiatives most often arise. True, the situation can turn out exactly the opposite: a relative hired will fill a vacancy that one of the “veterans” has long dreamed of. He will lead the team in an attack on the newcomer.
Enter communism
We do not urge you to build a society of general prosperity in a single team. Just try to provide your subordinates with more or less equal working conditions and pay. For example, do not allow employees to receive new office chairs with a back massager and a built-in coffee maker one by one: “upgrade” all workstations at the same time. Make it as difficult as possible for employees to learn about payroll numbers. Finally, avoid having favorites, especially female ones, or at least keep your favorites secret.
Provide access to information
If some information about the affairs of the company is not intended for a limited circle of users, for example, top management, it should be truly public. Various kinds of meetings, planning meetings and meetings help make them so. All this makes it possible to keep hundreds of mines up to date with the main information flows. As a result, there is no select caste in the team that learns important information before others. And he strives to abuse this in every possible way.
RISK GROUP
If you fall into one of these categories, the likelihood of being mobbed increases dramatically.
External employee
Serfdom was abolished in our country more than 150 years ago, but it is still customary to repurchase especially valuable souls. Such an employee in a new place receives privileges in at least three parameters: salary, attention from superiors and hostility from colleagues.
Inexperienced beginner
If you did not serve in the army and avoided hazing, at your first job you will probably have to taste all its delights with interest. This, of course, is not exactly mobing, but it may also make you think about quitting.
Pensioner
“Make way for the young!” Hiding behind such a life-affirming slogan, comrades aged 50 and older are accused of multiple sclerosis, senile dementia, lack of modernity and other traits incompatible with work activity. If you happen to be such a pensioner and do not occupy the chair of a director or minister, mobbing towards you is almost inevitable.
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Are you surrounded by negative colleagues? Do not despair! To survive in such a group, you don’t have to be like them. You can gain a lot of career benefits from communicating with them, so don’t rush to look for a better company.
Dive into the swamp
It is unlikely that there will be a person who has never in his life encountered colleagues who are simply killing time, serving their working hours, without forgetting to receive their salary. They tend to be dissatisfied with their job and the company, but they continue to hold on to their job. Among them there are often those who like to complain, intrigue and “have fun”. They also do not like newcomers, seeing them as a threat to their well-established life.
Why management tolerates them is a separate question. But if you happen to find yourself in such a team, you will have to try hard not to sink to their level.
Everything is good
If, having understood the situation, for some reason you cannot immediately change your job, do not become discouraged, you do not plan to vegetate here until retirement. Remember why you chose this particular company or department. Maybe you need specific skills or experience in a specific market? So focus on this. Imagine that you have to run a long distance all alone. To overcome irritation, fatigue and doubt, you need to keep your end goal in mind and not let your colleagues lead you astray.
Moreover, what does not kill, hardens. Yes, the atmosphere of such groups is destructive for all living things, but on the other hand, the situation provides an opportunity to hone skills that are very useful for life and a future career: composure, the ability to manage stress while maintaining optimism, self-discipline and the ability to follow one’s own development strategy. Most likely, on your career path you will more than once have to deal with various kinds of schemers, liars or bullies. So now is the time to prepare - this will help you avoid annoying mistakes in the future when the stakes are higher.
Understand but not accept
Show sympathy, but don't get carried away. It is quite possible that these people, too, were once full of enthusiasm, and now, for some reason, they are just passively waiting for their life, arranged according to the principle “it will do,” to change for the better on its own. Chances are, by talking, you will understand why this happened, and this will help you avoid their fate.
Be vigilant and watch what you say and do. Try to establish contact and learn more about the lives of colleagues outside of work, trying to find common ground. But! Tell as little as possible about yourself - everything said can be used in the future. Try not to criticize anyone - in such teams they love and know how to notice other people’s mistakes, and if they try to drag you into such a discussion, try to feign indifference, change the topic or avoid the conversation.
And in general, ask yourself: “How much can these people harm my career?”, “Do I need them to do my job?” Maybe the best way is to show restraint and ignore their escapades, treating them like spoiled children. True, this does not always work. Bullers, for example, only respect strength. If you decide to go on the offensive, sort out your relationship with each of the offenders personally. Give examples of behavior that you consider unacceptable and express a desire to build relationships in a different way. It is likely that this “unfortunate” incident will be brought to the attention of other team members or management. But is it really that bad?
On the contrary
No matter how your relationship with colleagues develops, think first of all about your work and career. Use your knowledge and aspirations to differentiate yourself from the ballast. Raise the bar. Use any way to show initiative, be it a meeting or training. By the way, such activity can invigorate the team, and the need to compete can awaken long-dormant instincts.
Of course, maintaining optimism without the support of others is not easy. In this case, one cannot count on leadership - such a situation would hardly have developed without his blessing. Try to create it yourself
