Yes, I really don't mind absenteeism. But before you judge me, listen to what I have to say. This year my children entered middle school. And before the start of the school year, we had a general parent meeting. The director took the floor and opened the Power Point presentation. The three most important things that parents should pay special attention to were highlighted in bold on the white sheet. Safety, communication with teachers and... attendance.

When this presentation appeared on the screen, I noticed how all the parents I knew who were sitting in the audience turned and looked at me. I made a poker face.

Of course, I understand, the law is the law, and children must go to school a certain number of days a year. And I'm not going to let my kids skip school to watch TV on the day they have an important test. But damn. I gave birth to these children. I carried them for 9 months, taught them to walk, talk, poop in a potty and eat with a fork. I feed them daily (sometimes even healthy food), buy them clothes, sign them up for good clubs, and spend several hours each week driving them to and from their clubs.

I clean up their vomit, put up with their tantrums, make them eat their vegetables, and even help them with math sometimes. And guess what else I do? I take them out of school for a few days whenever I feel like it! Because it's my right!

I know that some parents do not approve of me, and teachers whisper behind my back, but their opinion is not important to me - my children are important to me. And by the way, I will never allow my children to play truant unless I am sure that it is worth it.

Year after year, I go to one-on-one meetings with teachers and explain that education doesn't seem like the most important thing in the world to me. Yes, my children try, yes, they are polite and well-mannered, and they always do their homework. School is important, fact. But in our family, relationships come first. And period.

This means that if we decide to go on a trip that will give us wonderful memories, then we will absolutely choose it over math lessons. Or if something important happens to one of our relatives, even if he lives 1000 kilometers away from us, we will go there. And let the dates of this trip not coincide with the May holidays or Independence Day.

Do not misunderstand me. I try very hard to be polite and do not expect teachers to take my children's absence from class in stride. I always try to be on the safe side and make sure they do their homework even when traveling. And I always promise teachers that we will catch up on all the material we have covered. Yes, I understand that the older my children are, the more complex the school curriculum is, and the more difficult it will be for them. But I also know what's important to my family—and it's definitely not the school schedule.

There is another reason. On our trips, children not only communicate with their family, becoming closer to each other and to us, they also gain new experiences. And personal experience, I believe, always teaches better than any school lessons. What's better - reading about ancient Rome in a textbook or walking through the Colosseum? Taking a math test or learning how to convert dollars to euros? Traveling not only allows you to gain a lot of new information, but also introduces you to new countries and cultures. This is how you become more empathic and learn to accept other customs and points of view. Such an experience teaches you to adapt to new circumstances - and this is very necessary in adulthood.

In addition, we gain new knowledge not only during travel. Before a trip, we read a lot about the place we are going to, plan excursions and walks - children can learn a lot of new things in a thousand different ways. Sometimes I even ask the kids to do a Power Point presentation after the trip so they can tell the class about what they saw and where they were (yes, I know, it's harsh).

My job as a mother is to keep my children safe, to make them feel loved, and to teach them. If they miss 20 out of 160 school days but still get to spend time with their 97-year-old great-grandmother, hang out with cousins they rarely see, or eat delicious ice cream in an Italian town, then I will consider myself a truly good mother. Therefore, I don’t feel at all guilty that my children sometimes miss school. It's for their own good.

But let’s imagine that you supported your child’s proposal not to go to school tomorrow. And they were surprised to notice that the next day the sky did not fall to the ground and nothing had changed. Except for one thing - your relationship with your child has become even better. Coincidence?

Is there anything to be afraid of?

Many teachers would not support the decision to have an unauthorized day off. And they would even be armed with evidence that sounds very convincing. After all, skipping school lessons with parental permission is a direct road to permissiveness and skipping classes on your own without parental consent. What if this behavior becomes a habit? And here the most terrible events, which will lead to irreparable consequences, begin to take on a truly frightening development.

But, on the other hand, all this is a strong exaggeration. You only allowed me to walk for one day. It is unlikely that one day will completely change your child’s academic performance, convince him that he can now skip school and have time to create a bad habit. Even if in today's math lesson the whole class was diligently delving into a new topic, and your child stayed at home, a disaster will not happen.

Firstly, there are textbooks that describe new topics in sufficient detail.

Secondly, there is no guarantee that a student who has not had enough sleep and is tired will better perceive new information within the walls of school.

Thirdly, the topic is explained to 25-30 students. In a 45-minute lesson, it is impossible to find an approach to everyone and make sure that the child really understands the material. From this position, it is even more profitable to sit over textbooks at home.

Sometimes you can (and even need) to take a walk

If a child asks to stay home for one day, it means that there are certain reasons for this. Of course, one can answer that one should go to school every day, and not when there is a desire and mood, but it is better to deal with the root of the problem, and not with its side effects.

Perhaps the child is bullied at school, or he does not have time to understand new topics, or something causes him fear, irritation, or anger. There could be a lot of reasons. And parents are the closest people to children and only they are able to understand the current situation.

But if a child comes home from school with good grades, feels great in a team and easily learns the material from the lesson, but still doesn’t want to go to school today, this is also a reason to stay home.

Here psychologists are already taking the floor, who strongly advise organizing small family strikes against the system of gray everyday life. This way you and your baby can feel like one team that accepts and respects each other’s feelings and desires. At this very moment, the connection between you will become even stronger, without which it would be very difficult to build a relationship with your child. Most importantly, thanks to this approach, children will learn to trust their parents, and not see them as daily control.

In addition, the child will have the opportunity to sleep and relax. He will put his thoughts in order, he will have time for things that he constantly put off. Do you often find yourself thinking while rushing about urgent matters that you want to stop at least for a minute and watch the beauty of nature, the bright colors of the sunset, the funny birds in the trees?

Children get into this race quite early, where they need to constantly keep up with something and cannot miss anything. They, like many adults, forget to look around and see beauty. And noticing beauty in seemingly ordinary little things is a topic as complex as studying a new paragraph in history. And why not pause your daily responsibilities and remember that there is life around you. She is interesting, unique, unusual, complex.

Sometimes school can be the worst place in the world and you just need a day off. Use creativity to find a reason to get out of class and enjoy your free time. Here are some ways to skip school without arousing suspicion.

Steps

Feign illness

Prepare the soil. If you are going to feign illness, then tell your parents in advance that you are not feeling very well. Your illness will seem less realistic if your parents first hear about your symptoms only at the very last moment.

Tell your parents that you seem to have eaten something wrong in the school cafeteria if you want to fake a stomach ache.
Say that your throat is sore if you are going to pretend to have a cold.
To be more realistic, wake up in the middle of the night before the morning you want to stay home and tell your parents you don't feel well. Try to imitate the symptoms of a bad stomach/cold that were mentioned earlier, or simply say “I think I’m sick” or “I’m not feeling well.”

Wake up "sick". Get up a little later than you should. Tell your parents you are not feeling well. Act as if you were sick.
- Move slowly, as if your muscles hurt. Don't comb your hair after sleep.
- If you are faking a cold or flu, you can cough/sneeze and say you feel dizzy. When faking stomach pain, hold your stomach and complain about the pain.
- Hold your appetite for breakfast. Patients often have no appetite, so create the appearance correctly.
Simulate elevated temperature. Parents will probably want to take your temperature, since fever is a sign of real illness. To convince them that you are sick, you will need to make your parents believe that you have a high fever.
Try to be brave first and then give up. If your parents offer to stay at home, don’t agree right away. Act as if you don't want to miss school at all.
- Think about it for a couple of minutes and say something like, “But I was preparing for public class.” And then change your mind: “But I’m not sure I can sit through all the lessons.”
- If your parents agree that it is better for you to stay at home, then your trick was a success.
Continue to behave according to the legend. Despite the free day, you still need to pretend to be sick, at least in the presence of your parents.
- Pretend to be sick all morning and then start pretending to feel better.
- The next morning, act like you're still unwell, but you're rested and ready to go to school.
Run away from class
1. Weigh the risks. Many schools may have monitors or cameras at the exits, and custodians or teachers may monitor those leaving the building. Deciding to skip class can be a big risk.
  - Be sure to read the school rules so you know all the possible consequences in case you get caught.
2. Leave at the right time. If you are about to leave class, then you need to wait for a moment when almost certainly no one will notice you. The best way to do this is to mingle with a crowd of other students.
  - Leaving at the very beginning of the day, you are unlikely to go unnoticed, since all the children are rushing to classes rather than leaving school.
  - Try to go to the first lesson so that they will see you at school, and then sneak out during recess. Choose a recess after the first lesson or a long recess.
3. Keep track of the time. There is no need to alarm teachers and parents by returning from school late. When skipping classes, constantly look at your watch to know how much free time is left.
  - Leave some time to change into your school uniform (if you have changed clothes) and return to school in time for the bell from the last lesson.
  - You must arrive on time to the school bus stop or to the place where your parents usually meet you after school. If teachers see you and ask where you have been, then say that you felt ill and were in the restroom, or that one of the other teachers called you to their place. The main thing is that the teacher does not tell your parents that you were absent from class.
Come up with good reasons
1. Say you haven't finished your homework. In the morning, announce that you did not have time to finish a very important task - you can panic, try to cry and frantically pretend that you are in a hurry to finish the work. If your parents fall for your tricks, they may become angry and ask you to stay home to finish the assignment.
  - This situation will not work with some parents. They can send you to school so that you learn a lesson and always have time to complete your homework in the future.
2. Miss the bus. If you take the bus to school on your own, then simply be late for it. Walk to the stop very slowly so as not to make it before departure, or simply hide until the bus leaves, then return home.
  - If your parents are still at home or suddenly return from work at lunchtime, then you will have to hide from them so that they do not realize that you are not at school.
3. Set your parents' alarm clock for a different time. It's not difficult, but it carries risks: you will almost certainly be found out, and your parents may be late for work.
  - When your parents fall asleep, take their alarm clock or phone and set the alarm 1-2 hours ahead (for example, if the alarm is set for 6 am, then set it to 7 or 8 o'clock). Then put it back in place. When the alarm goes off, your parents will panic that they might be late for work and (maybe) won't have time to take you to school.
  - If one of the parents sets the alarm clock, then you only need to worry about one phone or alarm clock. If there are several alarm clocks, then you need to switch them all.

In the life of every student, a situation occurs when it is really necessary not to go to school. We would like to warn you right away: there is nothing good about a child skipping classes. If absences are repeated with regular frequency, this is fraught with gaps in knowledge, and also a bad habit of absenteeism is formed, which can create a lot of problems as a person grows older. But if the case is isolated, then our advice will tell you how to skip school without unpleasant consequences.

Agree with parents

The most legal way is to negotiate with your parents. If a child does well in all subjects, and his behavior does not cause any particular complaints, then they will most likely respond positively to the only request in the quarter to skip classes due to fatigue and write a note to the class teacher asking him to release the student for the day for family reasons.

If the student is sure that the parents will not agree to write a note asking for release, you can ask an older friend, older brother, etc. make a fake note on behalf of your mother. This method is also suitable if a student skips school and does not know what to do. But it is necessary to remember that the teacher can clarify by calling the parents who wrote the note, or save the piece of paper until the parent meeting in order to determine the authorship.

If a student does not excel in his studies or his parents are very principled, then you can feign illness. If the mother and father do not take their word for it, you can slightly heat the thermometer on the battery (the main thing is not to overdo it; 37.5 is what you need!) In the case when the temperature has to be measured in the presence of parents or a nurse working at school, you can first With wet hands, grease the armpit area with ground pepper. Experts also advise eating the lead of a simple pencil. The body temperature will rise to the required level.

Male high school students are periodically called to the military registration and enlistment office. When deciding how to skip school, it is possible to choose this good reason (if the high school student is sure that in the next few weeks he will not really be called to this institution).

Naturally, this option is available for girls of a certain age. Many women feel discomfort and abdominal pain on such days. If you are a born actress, you can exaggerate the suffering (the main thing is not to overact!)

From time to time, everyone needs to visit a dentist, ophthalmologist or other medical specialist. This method is especially effective if the student has a chronic disease, about which teachers are aware.

How else can you skip class?

The following three methods can be used if you need to skip one or more classes.

A reference to the fact that it is necessary to undergo a medical examination, for example, do fluorography, donate blood for analysis, etc. It is well known that these procedures are performed in the morning, so the reason will be significant.

Calling from lessons via SMS or note

An SMS message received on a cell phone or a note sent through a janitor with a request to be allowed to go home due to an emergency situation, for example, a grandmother has become ill or a plumber needs to come, etc., usually finds understanding among teachers.

Visiting a section, club

If a student attends a sports section, a hobby group, or receives additional education at a music school, a foreign language school, you can take time off from classes due to the need to prepare for a competition or competition, attend an unscheduled lesson or practice.

Use these tips as little as possible! Remember that by frequently asking for time off, you will arouse understandable suspicion, and if you lose trust, you will fall under total control, and then you are unlikely to be able to miss school without a good reason. In addition, every absence is a gap in knowledge, which may have to be filled over a much longer period of time, making much more effort.

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How not to go to school? How to get out of school? How to skip school?

How to persuade parents to allow you not to go to school?

You can imagine that parents will say: what’s the best way to skip work? Nobody really captivates you and they won’t kill you to death, they’ll grumble a little, and they might punish you a little. Slowly - you'll like to skip. Okay, it’s fun, you can drink beer, then chat, and there, next to the gateway, there are guys who, having skipped school, are already in crime. And under the other gateway there are boys who are drug addicts. Both are waiting for you in their arms. And so, after several absences, you fall hopelessly behind, fall out of favor with both teachers and parents, school becomes hated, and only the guys from the gates respect you. Next - a fork - either go downward, and ultimately become a loser in life (this is at best) or, making gigantic efforts, get out of this swamp. I am writing this because I was in this situation myself and chose the latter.

In fact, there are quite a few ways a child can skip school. Sometimes it is enough to simply inform your parents about your unfinished homework and they themselves will come up with a reason for absenteeism, so that the child does not get bad grades and spoil his overall rating. You can also ask a friend to send you an SMS, supposedly from your parents, asking for some help, which you can then show to the teacher. But the most effective way to skip classes at school can be considered a sudden illness, which is quite easy to imitate by drinking cold water the day before so that the throat turns red and seems inflamed; complain of headache and general fatigue; finally warm up the thermometer to show parents that there is a high temperature.

My classmate (who studied very well at school) was dying to attend music school. The problem was complicated by the fact that this individual’s mother worked there as a teacher. When she personally brought her son to school, the resourceful guy safely brought his mother to her class, turned around and stomped home. He got nothing for this. If you don’t want to, don’t go, you can miss a couple of days, on the eve of the holidays and the New Year there is no longer any intensive study.

It’s better to honestly admit to your parents that you don’t want to go to school; you can miss 3 days without a certificate if your parents scribble a note.

Provocative question =). Alternatively, heat the thermometer, rub your cheeks and lie under the blanket. At the very least, your appearance and the readings of the thermometer can cause slight excitement among your parents.

Any normal parent would not allow their child to skip school. Unless there is a good reason (a trip to the doctor, for example, or a trip to a funeral)

You can just pretend that you are going to school. But before reaching 10 steps to school, go to the park. True, your absence will be noticed and your parents will be told.

Conclusion: You need to be able to walk. But it is not advisable to do this (an unpleasant conversation with parents and the director is possible)

Just don't go.

You can explain to your parents that you don’t want to go today. After all, we were all children once and we know what it is. If a child does not want to go to school, he can simply skip it. Hanging around and doing bad things.

For me, let my child be at home and warm. I'll come up with something for him to do.

But of course, you need to instill a love for school from the very beginning, so that such questions do not arise.

But now there are such teachers that it is not love for school that may appear from the first day))))

put the thermometer in a cup of tea for 10 seconds (make sure the temperature is no higher than 37.5)

go to the clinic and take sick leave (you need to be able to convincingly lie about weakness, dizziness, nausea, then come up with it yourself)

or stupidly skip classes (it’s better in the spring when it’s warm)

The Ministry of Health warns to take a rest during the holidays, if you often fail to study, you may be kicked out of school)

My brother and I somehow came to school, first to his class, then they told me that our parents called us home to go to the village.

When we came home we were told that there was a quarantine at school for a week. Both of them cried, okay, one child will deceive, but when there are two at once, no one checks.

I had simple excuses for my parents: my stomach hurts, my head hurts, I feel bad. Well, most often I didn’t go to school myself (when my parents worked), and then I did it myself or asked older girlfriends to write me a note supposedly from my mother.

As a child reaches adolescence, fear of school decreases; however, when this condition develops in pre-adolescence, it is of great concern. Younger teenagers who experience this feeling of fear are often afraid of getting older. They may also be overwhelmed by stressful situations at home that affect their sense of security or self-confidence, making them even less able to face challenging academic and social challenges.

How to deal with school truancy

First of all, to deal with school avoidance, the child needs to be examined by a doctor who will rule out physical illnesses and help the parents create a treatment plan. Once the doctor has ruled out physical illness as a reason for the child's reluctance to attend school, all parents' efforts should be directed not only to understanding the pressure the teenager is under, but also to getting the child back to school.

Here are some guidelines to help your child cope with his problems.

Discuss with your child the reasons why he does not want to go to school. Review and identify all possible causes. Show empathy, support and understanding of the child's problems. Try to resolve all stressful situations that you together have identified as the cause of your child’s anxiety.
Let your teen know that you understand his concerns, but still insist that he return to school immediately. The longer a child stays at home, the more difficult it will be for him to return to school. Explain to your child that his health is normal and that his physical symptoms are likely caused by concerns he has shared with you—perhaps concerns about grades at school, homework, relationships with teachers, concerns about social pressure, etc. or unfounded fears of violence at school. Let him know that school attendance is compulsory for all children according to the laws of your country. However, he will continue to pressure you to let him stay at home, but you must firmly insist that he return to school.
Discuss your child's school avoidance with school staff, including teachers, the principal, and the nurse. Share your plans for your child's return to school and enlist their support and help.
Make it a rule to be extremely decisive in the morning when your child goes to school and complains about his symptoms. Try to keep discussions about his symptoms or concerns to a minimum. For example, do not ask your child how he is feeling. If he feels well enough to get out of bed and walk around the house, then he can go to school. Don't openly express your doubts about whether you are doing the right thing by sending your child to school. Once your child begins going to school regularly, his physical symptoms will likely cease.
If your child's anxiety is too much, it may be best for him to return to school gradually. For example, on the first day he might wake up in the morning, get dressed, and then you drive him past the school so he can experience the feeling of being back at school before you go home with him. On the second day, he can go to school for half a day, either only for his favorite lesson or several lessons. On the third day, the child can finally return to school for the whole day.
Your pediatrician can help ease your child's transition back to school by issuing a note stating that your child previously exhibited some symptoms that prevented them from attending school, but although symptoms may persist, they are now can go back to school. This will help the child avoid feelings of shame and humiliation.
Ask school staff to help you while your child is at school. The school nurse or secretary can care for your child if he or she begins to show symptoms and encourage him or her to return to class.
If your child's concerns are related to issues such as bullying at school or an unfair teacher, act as an advocate for the child and discuss these issues with school staff. The teacher or school principal will need to make some arrangements to reduce the pressure placed on the child in the classroom or on the playground.
If your child remains at home, make sure he is comfortable and safe, but does not receive any special treatment. All its symptoms should be treated based on analysis and understanding of the situation. If the child's complaints are not unfounded, he should remain in bed. But this day at home should not become a holiday for him: do not give him any special treats or delicacies, do not allow visitors; the child must be supervised at all times.
Your child may need to be seen by a doctor if he or she must stay home because of illness. The reasons why a child stays at home may include not only complaints that he does not feel well, but also the manifestation of quite recognizable symptoms: temperature above 38.3 ° C, vomiting, diarrhea, rash, frequent dry cough, ear infections. or toothache.
Help your child become independent by supporting activities and activities with other children outside the home. These could be clubs, sports clubs, and overnight stays with friends or relatives.

When to get help if your child is skipping school

While you can try to resolve school refusal on your own, if your child's school refusal lasts longer than a week, you and your child may need professional help to deal with the problem. First of all, your child should be examined by a pediatrician. If your child continues to refuse to attend school or shows chronic or recurrent signs of separation problems, your doctor may recommend consulting with a child psychiatrist or psychologist.

Even if a child does not tend to get involved in adventures, the manifestation of unexplained physical symptoms should prompt a medical examination.

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And why, in fact, are we so afraid when a child asks to skip class just once?

will skip the new topic

Yes, he might miss it. But what is more difficult - to learn information in a class where there are twenty-five people, noise and din, and the teacher still focuses on the slowest ones, or at home, alone with a textbook (or parents)? Well, he’ll figure out the new topic somehow.

there is no point in indulging him

“Children need to be pampered, then they grow up to be real robbers”: in fact, there is a big difference between a permissive attitude (“Do what you want, it doesn’t matter to me at all”) and attention to the needs of the child (“By law, you are obliged to finish school, and I will provide this, but if you are tired or you don’t like something, tell me, we will somehow solve this problem”). If a child understands that rules do not exist for the sake of rules, but that there is meaning behind them, and he does not have to fight the inevitable alone, but consults with his parents, his life will be easier.

Let's solve it once - he'll want it again

Maybe he will. And most likely, he will discover that absenteeism is no longer something forbidden and alluring. After all, if dad and mom are generally calm about the child’s words about his acute reluctance to go to school, don’t rush to shame him, accuse him of laziness and sloppiness, and what’s more, sometimes they’re even really ready to leave him at home for a day, then it’s with them You can really talk openly. Not only about his reluctance to go to school, but also about something more important.

no one does that

You don’t think that your child is the only one so unique that he sometimes dreams of not going to school? In fact, there are a lot of such children, only many, for example, are sick for a week - they go to classes for a week, or in the morning they are tormented by nausea and headaches, or a tic appears. Because if the brain is tired and overworked, the body will definitely react to this.

I'll have to explain something to the teacher

There is an excellent wording - “for family reasons.” You're not going to go for a walk every week, are you? If you need to explain to the teacher why your child sometimes misses school, refer to the psychologist’s recommendation, in the end: from overload, the student begins to think even worse, so he just needs rest.

Why is skipping school sometimes beneficial?

The feeling of inevitability disappears, which means that the need to go to school ceases to be painful.
Unscheduled rest and proper sleep during the week significantly add strength to the child.
A schoolchild is unlikely to maliciously skip classes behind garages or wander around the streets - why, if this can sometimes be done quite legally.
There is also no point in lying: parents have already proven themselves to be adequate people who are better off telling the truth.
The child masters the concepts of “agreeing” and “keeping agreements”: if you jointly decided that it’s not worth going out more than once a month, then you need to stick to it.
The child learns to better understand himself and his feelings and needs, evaluate his resources and respond to a breakdown not when it has already happened, but a little in advance.

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