In England - Boogeyman, in France - Bone-setter, in Germany - Krampus, and in our country - Koschey, Baba Yaga, babayka, wolf and uncle policeman. All these characters are parental scarecrows. Always, at all times, this is how children were brought up: if they don’t obey, they need to be scared with something. So we scare with evil uncles, invent different Byak and Buk, shifting the responsibility for the child's behavior onto the shoulders of different monsters. You look, and the little naughty one will stop "misbehaving". At least for a while.
Every child has a period when he begins to experience a huge number of different fears, most of them unfounded. Some fears are temporary, others are instinctive, mostly inborn, for example, fear of the dark, heights, etc. But there is another category of acquired ones that appear in the process of intimidation by parents.
Psychologists unanimously argue that bullying is one of the worst parenting methods, equivalent to the use of physical force. When a child is regularly intimidated by uncles, injections, babaykas, gradually from this he begins to lose confidence in the world and becomes withdrawn, enriching his world with new fears with which he will go on in life. In addition, in moments of intimidation, the baby feels anxiety and anxiety instead of parental support. Still would! It can be given to be torn to pieces by an unknown monster, which will also eat it!
You can justify your “scarecrows” by a simple lack of time that is required for an intelligible explanation to the child why it is impossible to do one way or another. It's easier to scare! But such methods, as they say, will not lead to good! The child will simply begin to live in constant fear of the appearance of a grandmother. And this is instead of an atmosphere of love, affection and mutual understanding.
Intimidation, of course, helps the parent achieve momentary results in the behavior of the child. But they are still dangerous for psychological health. Any Babaika makes it clear to the child that the parents are not the main ones, not strong, and generally cannot even stand up for the monster for him. From this, the child is horrified: how is it! mom and dad - the bravest in the world can give it to some elder?
To put it mildly, any "scarecrows" are just a painting of parents in their own impotence. Instead of looking for solutions to the situation, it is easier to solve the problem in one fell swoop - to call the monster, and hardly anyone thinks about the consequences.
What do we end up with: destroyed parental authority and an increased sense of fear in the child, consciously nurtured by all the same parents.
Another unpleasant consequence: the child will sooner or later realize that his mom and dad cheated. The very fact of lies on the part of parents is important here. Resentment and disappointment are still flowers in the reaction of the child. He can learn a lesson in the end: you can deceive everyone.
But the most terrible and dangerous “scarecrows” can still be attributed to the threat to give the child to someone. The kid in such cases acquires a complex of "uselessness": "I'm bad," "they don't like me," "I'm in the way." And such attitudes, you see, do not contribute to a healthy psychological development baby.
Is it possible to dismiss all of the above, they say, the devil is not so terrible as he is painted?
Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Pedagogy and Psychology of Primary School Students of the UlSPU Lyubov Guryleva:
The main thing to remember is that if you already choose the tactics of education by intimidation, then in no case should you be intimidated by the prospect of giving up your child, especially if this is directly related to his personal characteristics.
But still it is worth learning how to get out of the situations that the baby creates in a different way. It is necessary to allow the child to make his own choice, to be consistent, to bring the requirements to the end. But at the same time, do not forget, a child is still a child, therefore, in any line of education, there should be moments of disobedience and standing on your head. Moreover, you can do it together with your child, believe me, you will get great pleasure!
You can scare, however, if you want it so much, you even need to. within reasonable limits and use tactics correctly.
You can scare only with what can really harm: electric current, gas stove, iron, etc. If the character is alive, then, again, really dangerous, for example, not an uncle in uniform, but an uncle with candy, who can take the baby away from his mother.
The main thing in horror stories is not to get personal - a car can knock down if you do not follow the rules of the road, and not because "you have eyes in the back of your head."
During intimidation, it is worth remembering about your adequacy. For example, if a child takes away other people's toys, it is unlikely that the doctor will give him an injection of greed for this. But the guys can stop playing on the court.
When intimidating a child, do not forget that the main goal is the happiness of your baby, whether your efforts are justified by your methods is up to each parent to decide!
Imagine a situation in which, due to a little inattention, you lose sight of a child and cannot find him. Who would you like your child to contact first? Of course, to the policeman, if he was there. The problem is that as a result of our mistakes, the child may simply experience fear of the police. And if he's scared, he won't ask for help. This is a bad scenario, so it is worth doing everything so that the child knows perfectly well who is his friend and who is his enemy. And not only in the context of situations like the one described above.
“Uncle policeman will come and take you away!”
Scaring a child with the police is one of the many serious mistakes that parents make. We add that although this action is aimed at influencing the child for his own benefit, this, unfortunately, does not change anything. Instilling a child with fear of the police just so that he begins to behave as we expect may have a temporary effect, but it will make it so that the association arises in the mind of the child: policeman = punishment, something bad, danger.
It is also worth noting that after a while, the child will still find out that mom or dad is just cheating, and not a single policeman will show up. Then, in addition to the loss of authority and the positive image of the policeman, the child’s faith in our truthfulness will also be destroyed.
However, the fear of the policeman does not always arise in the child due to the fact that the parents frightened them. It is worth paying attention to how we react when we are stopped by a patrol on the road or we receive a fine. A hateful look, nervousness and insults towards the policeman - this is what the child observes and from which he draws conclusions.
So what do we do if we want our child to be imbued with confidence in the figure of a policeman? First, if you get a fine, explain to your child why. Simply say, “I did something bad because I was driving too fast and I got a ticket. You too can get a ticket if you hit someone, just like I got for driving too fast.”
In no case do not scare the child with a “bad cop”. If you want the child to stop misbehaving, then provide the child with consequences in the form of real punishment.
It is also worth "rehearsing" the behavior scheme in case the child really gets lost. Tell your child that the police always help, and if they are not around, you should ask for help, for example, from the seller in the nearest store.
doctor through the eyes of a child
Why are some children not afraid of doctors, vaccinations and blood tests, while others react hysterically only at the sight of a white coat or even a clinic?
Behind a very large fear, as a rule, there are more serious health problems and the need for frequent visits to the doctor, or simply very fresh memories, for example, about vaccinations. But in many cases the reason is simply Bad mood, for the creation of which the mother and father are responsible.
Firstly, adults often scare the child with a doctor. Instead of saying: “Don’t worry, we’ll go to the doctor and he will help us and give us medicine,” we say: “Well, please, if you don’t want to, don’t eat, but then we will run to the doctors and it will be unpleasant for you, you’ll see ! Remember that you can not associate the image of a doctor with any form of punishment.
Secondly, we rarely explain to the child why you really need to go to the doctor. And this is of great importance! So, instead of focusing on how to calm the child, start telling him a story about special "soldiers" that the doctor launches into the body with a vaccine. Explain why a stethoscope is used and why the doctor looks at the throat. Understanding all this, the child will be less afraid.
Third, we lie to children. We say, "It won't hurt," even though we know it will. The kid will not be able to trust us after this, so he expects the worst at every visit to the doctor.
Tell the truth: "Today will be a little unpleasant, because there will be a vaccination." The child, although frightened, will not lose faith in your words. And next time he will believe you when you say: "The doctor will only check how beautifully you breathe."
scary dentist
The dentist is the biggest nightmare for many children. What are the reasons behind the fear of those who treat our teeth?
The main mistake of parents is the admission of a situation in which the child has contact with the dentist only when his tooth has deteriorated. With this approach, there is no process of adaptation necessary for a calm perception of the dentist.
What to do so that the child is not afraid of going to the dentist's office? It's very simple: take your child for preventive examinations from the age of two. Have a friendly dentist show him a chair, mirrors, let him sit down and look around. In addition, with this approach, the slightest violations will be found at an early stage, which means that the treatment will be really painless.
Another reason for fear is the scary stories of others about their unpleasant experience. It happens that in the company we begin to talk about the dental nightmares that we had a chance to endure. We all know what great listeners our children are.
It seems to me, or are all children absolutely around the world scared of some kind of monsters if they misbehave?
If you don't eat dinner, Barmaley will take you away!
If you don't listen to me, Babayka will bite your ass!
If you want to fall into the clutches of Baba Yaga, then continue to behave just as badly!
Absolutely every parent, with rare exceptions, has in his arsenal some kind of evil uncle or swamp monster, which he tries to resort to to raise his child. But is it really possible to do this?
After all, fictional monsters are not only wildly scary, but also have a very real basis!
See for yourself: earlier in Russia, children were frightened by Kikimora or Baba Yaga. How many fairy tales were written according to an evil scenario, where even the good girls who got lost in the forest were stolen by the Bone Leg and then tried to cook them in the oven and eat them!
At the same time, in fairy tales there were as many as three incarnations of the sorceress: Yaga the hero, fighting with heroes, Yaga the kidnapper, stealing children, and Yaga the giver, welcoming a good fellow, soaring him in a bathhouse and giving him helpful tips after the con himself almost burned it in the oven.
But if you look, then Baba Yaga is a rather creepy and enchanting deity. 
death, represented in myths and legends in the form of a woman with a snake tail, who escorted souls to the kingdom of the dead. Other beliefs said that Death herself handed over the dead to Baba Yaga, feeding her girlfriend with their souls.
The people in Russia believed that she lives in absolutely every village and pretends to be a simple old woman who looks after cattle and cooks pies at her leisure. Only at night she turned into a terrible witch, brewed potions and stole children from their beds.
Is it possible, having such a “real” basis under it, to frighten a child with the fact that some kind of gray-haired old woman can burn him in the oven? After all, he will be afraid not of some ephemeral evil aunt, but of a very real neighbor with disheveled hair, who is rude to everyone in the entrance and looks at him with her white eye, and then all grandmothers in general, because they can pretend to be kind in order to steal you later and make a pie out of the insides.
And take the same Kikimora, who was believed to be the wife of a brownie, or her sister, the swamp kikimora, who was considered the wife of the goblin. Domestic, she frightened children, sheared livestock, beat dishes and confused yarn, and free, swamp, which in ancient times was also called Mara, generally appeared to people only when she wished them intentional death. It was believed that the one who sees Kikimora in the swamp will die.
And since she was depicted as a thin, untidy girl with long matted hair, the child could well begin to see her in the real world among passers-by or neighbors. And do you think it was useful for him to get acquainted with the world around him?
Is it possible to scare a child?
Parents themselves set unthinkable traps for themselves: first they scare the child so that he obeys them, and then they don’t understand why he asks to leave the light in the bedroom on, he is afraid of monsters under the bed and screams wildly when he suddenly sees some hunched old man.
After all, water sharpens a stone, and at first the child laughs and does not believe you, who scare him with Barmaley, but then the very fear arises, which is already difficult to get rid of. It's all to blame for exactly how grown-ups frighten small children - they talk about Babai in a very emotional, ominous voice, making scary eyes. At this point, anyone in colors will imagine a non-existent scarecrow.
Let's see if it is possible to scare a child at all and by whom, if it is still possible? Psychologists, for example, argue that such a method of education is the worst in history, and only beating a baby or applying any other physical force to him can be disgusting.
At the same time, you can’t scare children not only with monsters, but also completely real people- for example, an unfamiliar uncle, a doctor with injections or a policeman. He will grow up and forever be afraid of the whole world around him and experience great distrust of him. Then you won’t be able to drag him into the doctor’s office when the child’s tooth hurts.
Moreover, the fear of a particular character eventually results in new problems: fear of the dark, tantrums when left alone, isolation. Especially if mom and dad calmly say that they will give it to some stranger, and then that “there really aren’t any monsters, go to sleep, you’re already tired of your crying.” Why say one thing first, and then show that you don't care about the child's fears?
The roots of the bullying problem grow from their lack of patience and free time, when parents, exhausted, cannot clearly and in detail explain to the child why he should not behave this way, resorting to a simple method: “If you mess up, you will get it from Barmaley.”
Live in constant fear of waiting for someone to enter your room through the window 
Baba Yaga and dragged into the forest - excuse me, this is too cruel. I say this only because I myself used to resort to this method of education, scaring my son with Barmaley if he did not obey me.
Why did I do it? For the same reason - fatigue, nerves, a desire to put the baby to sleep as soon as possible, although in childhood I myself was frightened by evil monsters and Babo Yaga in particular. Now I somehow feel uncomfortable alone, I don’t like the dark, and I cover my legs with a blanket even when the room is very hot.
Of course, horror films that I watched with rapture as a child play a big role, but I already associate this phenomenon with my own conscious choice and the desire to tickle my nerves. Yes, it settles on the subcortex of the brain, and even when you, having matured, understand that there is no Babadook in reality, it still somehow becomes uncomfortable. It hurts that thrillers are being filmed these days.
Who scare children in other countries?
Basically, the monsters that parents use to scare their children are similar in appearance or bad upbringing. At the same time, each character has his own individual legend, thanks to which he was born.
Babai (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus)
Traditionally, it is they who in our native bands scare naughty children. In Slavic folklore, Babai is called the night spirit, though without describing it somehow outwardly. Here the fantasy of the children themselves plays into the hands, representing him as some kind of hairy monster with long arms and red eyes.
However, in some images presented to us by artists, Babai is shown as a black old man with physical defects: armless or lame, who walks with a large bag and takes naughty children into it.
The Tatars call grandfather a babay, because my husband scared his son with Barmaley - otherwise the child would have become afraid of his own uncle, the elder brother of his father, whom China loves very much.
Boogeyman (UK)
In England, they love to frighten children with terrible horrors so much that people there can not be reproached with bread. Since ancient times, people here liked to write stories about the old woman Peg Pauler, who lives in the River Tees, in the north of England, and drags naughty children under the water. She does this mainly on Sundays, lashing out at those kids who go to the river instead of going to church.
Well, the Boogeyman, whom all England fears, is impersonal and takes the form of fears that live in the head of a child. He scares not only hooligans, but also those who stick their fingers in their mouths, do not eat soup, and generally do not put their parents in anything. The Scarecrow touches the children with his dirty fingers, which, according to legend, warts pour out on the children's hands.
The Boogeyman appears only at night, and during the day he lives in a closet or under beds - in general, where direct sunlight does not fall.
Ombre de costal (Spain, Portugal, Brazil)
Ombre del costal is feared by all the children of Latin America. Still no: old, skinny, angry like a dog, this monster not only scares the naughty guys, he also puts them in his big bag, then drags them into the dark and eats them there. In Brazil, however, the story is a little more humane: there Obmre simply sells children into slavery.
I don’t know why the kids didn’t please the parents of Chile and Argentina, but there an old man with a bag saves them from capricious children during lunch, when, according to tradition, Obmbre makes his sinister detour.
They say that the legend of this scarecrow has a real basis: as if in 1910 there was a man in Almeria named Francisco Ortega. He suffered from tuberculosis for a long time and was looking for a cure for his illness, until a healer recommended that he be treated with the blood of children, smearing it on his chest and drinking a glass of liquid at dinner.
Francisco kidnapped the young Bernardo Gonzalez Parra, put him in a sack, took him to the estate and killed the child there. Ortega did not recover from tuberculosis, and he did not live long: the criminal was caught and executed.
Black Pete (Netherlands)
Children from Holland are afraid of Black Pete only at Christmas time, when he comes to the house and brings gifts to good children, and takes bad children in an empty bag. True, there is a chance to be saved and simply be left without gifts - if your grave sins do not pull on the crime of the century and you are just capricious a couple of times a day.
The character of Black Pete was mentioned in 1850 by Jan Shenkman, but the legend of the monster was in use in Holland in the 15th century. There, the image of Black Pete was directly associated with pirates, frightening naughty Dutch children.
Krampus (Austria, Romania, South Tyrol, South Bavaria)
Who is Krampus? Ask the kids from Austria or Bavaria about it, where everyone 
the child at least once was intimidated by this strange furry monster with horns. The character, like Black Pete, is considered a Christmas one, punishing naughty children and taking them in a bag (what did they all agree on bags?).
The truth takes Krampus children not to the basement, but to the realm of Santa Claus, where they work hard to atone for their misdeeds. Some parents like these methods of education so much that in Hungary and the Czech Republic people dress up as Krampus in the month of December and walk the streets in this form, frightening small children with the ringing of chains and bells.
Coco (Latin American countries)
Basically, Coco is a pretty cute character that looks like a simple shadow on a rooftop. She follows each child individually and if he behaves badly, then he kidnaps him and ... eats. Koko is bloodthirsty, albeit sweet: he will easily make sure that neither dogs nor the police will ever find this child. At least that's what parents tell their kids.
Bone setter (France)
A chiropractor is not a doctor from the trauma department, this is a monster from France who comes to children who do not want to go to bed on time. During the day, he hides somewhere deep under the porch of the house or in a dark closet, but as soon as night descends on the city, he runs out to freedom and begins to look for naughty children.
The chiropractor did not appear out of thin air: in the 19th century, when the French and the world had not yet heard of anesthesia, it was from the lair of the chiropractor that the most terrible and terrible screams were heard that frightened children. Probably, there is his lair - a monster that grabs little Frenchmen and takes them behind their backs to distant distances.
Tek-Tek (Japan)
The most terrible monster of the whole world can rightfully be called the Japanese Tek-Tek. This is the eerie ghost of a woman, Kashima Reiko, who was run over by a train, cut in half. The restless soul of the violator of traffic rules is now walking around the streets of Japan, or rather, crawling along them on her elbows, dragging stumps and staining the asphalt with blood.
The most terrible legend - and what did Japanese children do to their parents? After all, they scare them with the image of Tek-Tek, who can be heard a mile away by the terrible clatter of elbows (it was for this sound that the ghost was named). The worst thing is that, according to legend, the same thing happens with naughty children who play outside until late and do not listen to their parents. Tek-Tek overtakes them and kills them with a swoop, cutting them in half with his scythe.
So our horror stories with Baba Yaga are still flowers compared to fantasy 
Japanese. In any case, both stories destroy the child's psyche, but do not produce the proper educational effect. And when you open your mouth to tell the baby. That Kikimora will take him now, remember my article and just tell your treasure: “I love you so much, you are my best best child in the world!".
Do you scare your kids with monsters? What? Did your parents try to educate you with horror stories about the Gray Top or Babai as a child? Did it affect today's fears, or did it only play into your hands?
Each of us, probably, will remember similar episodes from his childhood. And to be honest, these intimidations work. Often they help to achieve the behavior that the parent needs at the moment. Another thing is that they do not work for long and are dangerous for the psychological health of the baby.
Intimidating with something or someone, the parent makes it clear to the child that he - the parent - is not the main one, not strong, and in general, he will not be able to stand up for his child before a certain woman. At this moment, horror is going on in the child’s head - until a certain time, dad and mom are the strongest people in the world for him and can do anything. And then some kind of babayka appears and the mother will calmly give him the baby?
The child is very scared. In addition to the destroyed authority of parents, which is painful in itself, he develops an increased sense of fear. Yes, all children are different, one is not very scared, and the other will remember all his life. In pedagogy, cases are described when children paralyzed their legs from fear. But what an educational effect!
But sooner or later the child will understand that mom and dad were deceiving him. And this is another unpleasant discovery. Moreover, it is not so much unpleasant to understand that the policeman hardly needs him, but the evil aunt has enough of her children, as the very fact of lies on the part of the parents. In addition to resentment and disappointment, the child has an understanding that everyone can be deceived. And their parents too.
Parents should understand that by scaring a child for bad behavior, they sign their impotence. Instead of looking for ways to solve the situation, reading relevant literature, trying to figure out what is happening, they prefer to solve the problem in one fell swoop, without thinking about the consequences for the child.
There is a substitution of concepts - in the clinic you can not make noise, not because someone has a headache and the noise interferes, but because the doctor scolds. You need to eat porridge not to be strong and healthy, but because the goat will gore, and you need to wait for dad from work not with joy, but with fear that mom will tell him everything and the child will be punished.
But the worst thing for a baby is the threat to give it to someone for bad behavior. For a child, this means only two things - he is bad and they do not like him. And such attitudes do not contribute to the healthy psychological development of the baby.
Perhaps some parent, reading these lines, will dismiss: is everything really so serious? And a simple intimidation by some babayka can harm a child like that? No, of course, it can hurt much worse. Up to neurosis, enuresis and stuttering, hypertrophied feelings of guilt, distrust and hostility to the world, increased anxiety. And this is all just because right now, at the moment, the baby does not want to go to bed or eat porridge.
It's very hard to let go of bullying pedagogical reception. Yes, and the child must understand that there is something in the world that you need to be afraid of. What to do?
Fourth: scare without going over to the personality of the child - you can knock down a car if you do not follow the rules of the road, and not because you have eyes in the back of your head. A dog can bite if you tease it with a stick, but not because you called your mother names, you can get lost in the crowd because there are a lot of people, and not because you always sleep on the go. Feel the difference?
Fifth: scare appropriately. If a child takes away other people's toys, it is unlikely that the doctor will give him an injection of greed. But the guys can stop playing on the court.
You have a long way to go and it will take a lot of effort to learn how to properly "scare" children. But the goal in this case - the happiness of the child - justifies these efforts!
Children's fears have many names. Among the most popular characters of parental scarecrows is the evil Babayka. This is a fictional character who lives under the bed and just does not appear. He comes when the baby is guilty, does not want to sleep, is naughty and does not respond to comments. No one has ever seen this character, but for children, meeting him is very dangerous. They know that Babayka will come and take away. Many parents do not even realize how serious the consequences of such intimidation are. Let's try to figure out whether it is possible to scare a child with Babaika and are fictional characters so harmless for an unbridled children's fantasy?
Why not scare children with unknown creatures?
Intimidation by Babai is a very effective tool of influence. Frightened, the baby may stop crying or indulging, diligently close his eyes to fall asleep, and finish his unloved porridge. He will do everything so that Babayka does not come. At the mere mention of the name of this character, the child is frightened.
Children are different. With age, most of them forget the Babaevs invented by their parents, but not for everyone this period passes painlessly. There are fears that are difficult to get rid of. Often parents deliberately scare children to achieve their goals. Unfortunately, not everyone correctly assesses the seriousness of such behavior. Here are just a few of the consequences of bullying:
- neuroses.
- Increased anxiety.
- Lack of self-esteem.
- Dependence on other people's opinions.
- Hypertrophied sense of guilt.
- distrust of the world.
- Stuttering.
- Enuresis.
"Useless fears" can remain for life. It is difficult for a child to find the truth among fictions, and the undeveloped psyche and thinking perceive the threat in their own way. Gradually in consciousness there is a replacement of concepts. In addition to the appearance of guilt, the baby loses defenders. After all, if parents are ready to calmly give him away, then he is bad and they do not like him.
An unpleasant discovery is the deception of parents. When the baby finds out that he was simply intimidated, but Babayka is not, the understanding is fixed in the subconscious that one can achieve one's goals with a lie. As a result, the educational effect is not only useless, but also unsafe for the psyche and health.
You can scare a baby only with those things that you really need to be afraid of: cars on the roads, a hot kettle, street dogs, etc. If you could not restrain yourself and mentioned the frightening Babai, do not leave the child alone with his fears.
Is it worth it to intimidate children with Babaika? The opinion of psychologists
Regarding punishment by fear, psychologists have their own opinion. In rare cases, scaring is permissible, but it must be done adequately and within reasonable limits.
A phobia is not just a negative emotion. Fears are useful, and what frightens a person encourages self-preservation. Little kids don't know danger. A sense of fear appears in them by about three years, when independence increases, fantasy and memory develop. The kid begins to fill up emotionally, learns to express feelings in words, gains communication experience. He already knows a lot, sees, but far from understands everything. The baby believes everything that adults say, and perceives Babayka as a terrible evil that can appear at any moment and hurt. Fears become constant and destroy the psyche.
Psychologists advise against manipulating fears for educational purposes. This is the easiest way to influence, but is it really necessary to make the child understand what he is doing wrong? You can do without scary heroes. It is enough to explain everything intelligibly and not to insist on the immediate fulfillment of the requirements.
If the child is already frightened by Babai, try to overcome the emerging phobia together. Continue and complete the badly started horror story about an evil character. Tell the kid that Babayka went to the forest and got lost, or bought himself a plane and flew away. It is important for the child to know that the character that frightens him is far away. There can be any scenario for your story, but there is only one final: let the baby know that you will not leave him and will always be there.
conclusions
Children trust their parents endlessly. In order not to lose this trust, be careful in communication. Punishment by fear is not The best way achieve obedience. It doesn't matter which character is chosen to intimidate. Babai, goblin, monster, Baba Yaga and other fairy-tale characters are associated with evil. For a child, their appearance in the subconscious is always stressful, followed by tantrums, neuroses, nightmares and other troubles. In order not to spend money on psychologists, do not spare time for explanations and be careful in choosing educational methods.
